Bad boys?..whats the attraction?

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Registered: 12-31-1969
Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
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Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:58pm
Is it true that many women want a really nice guy, but only after they have had their brains screwed out by all the bad boys they can handle? What is the attraction of a male slut, who treats a woman so poorly?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 5:35pm
Can't speak for other women, but the bad boy is not for me, never was and never will be.





~Tish


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 6:00pm
they're exciting and a little out of reach, which makes it more exciting. desire is confused with love. it's not that they're all that good in bed, it's just their unpredictability and unavailability makes you feel priviliged when they grace you with their presence. and they ride motorcycles, which is soooooo hot. i guess they act out all the bad stuff for us, so we can maintain our good girl status. i mostly like them for the thrill and out of control feeling.

now that i'm in my early 30s i've mostly given up on bad boys. my new favorite group is the reformed bad boy. they've been there done that, but turned it around and are leading the straight life, but there's always a glint of their wild ways lurking. yum, so hot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 6:45pm

Humpdaddy, I'm curious as to why you made this post?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 6:54pm

<>


In my experience, its the nice guys you have to watch out for! Dbf hadn't had sex in 7 yrs prior to our dating. He didn't lose his virginity until age 24. So, I thought that i was gonna freak him out and that my libido would out match his ...


Boy was

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 7:04pm
I totally agree. The reformed/reforming bad boy is awesome. My bf is a bad boy with the heart of an angel and it's that yin/yang thing that has me just absolutely looped. He has, I'm reliably told, screwed tons and tons of women and rides a black motorcycle but he is -extremely- smart and has an interesting job, and my parents absolutely, absolutely adore the guy, as do children -- he's almost like a modern-day Pied Piper. It -is- wierd to see someone who has been the apple of so many women's eye losing his hair and wearing glasses, and not as fit as he'd like, but it's not like he's apologizing for those things either or the least bit worried about them. Plus he has a big fat ___ and that just kind of augments the badness. Yummm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 7:55pm
Man if I figured that out I wouldn't be screwed over all the time. I tend to like the bad boy, but I don't know why. Main example is this guy I met at the beginning of the summer I'm 21 he's 25. First time we met we were playing a drinking game and both got really wasted and slept together(really good sex by the way), something I rarely do. Then we continued to sleep together for like a month then he moved like 30 minutes away and we never saw each other for like a month and a half because he didn't return my calls. Then one day randomly he shows up at my house saying that he lost my number and blah blah he wanted to see me. So what do I do sleep with him again knowing that he's a player/not going to be around. And the sad part is I still like him now and am not mad at him even through I know it's wrong. I think it is their unavailablity that makes them sexy and mysterious and appealing. But who knows I am probably crazy.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 8:41pm

Hi,


I think a lot of it has to do with lack of maturity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:36pm
The player(not the same as the bad boy or rebel) is a personality type, and has little to do with how many women he sleeps with. Nice guys can have many sexual partners, treat them with respect, and actually be good in bed. Their sexual appetite has little to do with their personalities. The player is mostly arrogant and selfish and whether he's had sex with 2 partners or 100 partners, won't change that. Why a woman would want to be anywhere near a man who treats all women poorly is anyone's guess. One reason I can think of is she believes that she's special(like him), so he'll change and become all hers. LOL Me, whenever I know for a fact that a guy's a player, I let him know that his paws won't ever touch me. Ever see a man beg? LOL They have a hard time with the word 'no'. I mean somebody's gotta do the dirty work....might as well be me. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:45pm
Immaturity, lack of self respect, lack of self esteem, and the inability to see the difference between hot sex, and respect. Eventually they grow up, and refuse to allow themselves to be used.

I also think you're right, in some cases they think that they're so great that eventually, the bad boy will realize it and settle down and be the answer to their unfulfilled life. Not in a million years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 8:48am
One other thing that's go great about bad boys is that they have no fear whatsoever of girls or their foibles. Nice guys can't really "fake" this ... they either are or they aren't afraid ;-) I definitely disagree that BBs don't respect you though; you just have to earn it. When I first met my bf in June, he couldn't have cared less about me; he was really pleasant to be around and funny as hell, but he treated me more or less like his complete slut. Now, some weeks later, it is an amazingly pleasant surprise to learn that he really adores me and just plain likes me as a person. He makes me these awesome breakfasts in bed now, whereas before he couldn't have cared less. He picks out music just so. He takes me shopping. He -reads- great books to me, which I just find ultra-pleasant. He draws baths for me, puts in bubble bath, and leans over and washes me. He gives off every vibe of caring about me immensely. Exactly backward of how my former relationships have gone - you start out somewhat timidly with a nice guy and get to know each other a bit better. But nice guys are concerned with being liked and respected ... maybe one reason I like and respect -this- guy is that he couldn't have cared less whether or not i did, initially at least. My $.02.

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