Why no sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Why no sex?
2
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 9:21pm
I have a question (particularly for guys or women who are more attuned to male sex drives/physiology than I am).

My bf of about 3 months and I have a good relationship that is hopefully going somewhere. We both work long hours, and he works odd hours at times. Right now he's in the middle of working 7 days a week, 11 hours a day, all at night. (YUCK!) He picked me up this morning for breakfast after he got off from work. Then we went to his place to watch a TV show we both like. We watched TV for about 2 hours. I knew that he needed to take me home and go to sleep around 3 so that he could get up for work later this evening. About 2:30, and we started making out on his couch. It got pretty steamy. Suddenly he said that he should take me home b/c he needed to get some sleep. We stood up and started kissing and couldn't keep our hands off each other. He said I'd left something in his bedroom, so we went upstairs to get it. Again, we started kissing, groping, and pressing up against each other. Then he suddenly again said that he should take me home. He apologized and we decided to see each other Friday.

The last time we had sex was two weekends ago (the last time our schedules permitted us to be alone together). We had sex twice that Friday, once Saturday, and not at all Sunday. I thought he would be ready to go since it had been that long.

I appreciate that he sees me for more than sex and realize I am partly at fault for not initiating. But I always thought guys would do anything for sex -- was it that easy for him to turn it off today once we got started? I feel rejected, which I've never felt before, and I'm wondering if he was really too tired and needed sleep or if he's not attracted to me. And was the amount of sex we had the other weekend normal, or is my sex drive higher than his? Thanks for any input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: pglt
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 10:02pm

Not all guys will do anything for sex.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: pglt
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 12:15am
Hon, this isn't about you, it's about him. It has nothing to do with rejection, and it has nothing to do with being attracted to you. It has to do with him being TIRED, and knowing that if he got started, he's not going to get the rest that he needs. If you have his best interests at heart, then you shouldn't even encourage sex when you know he needs rest. Be glad he wants to spend a little time with you in his busy schedule.

As for your week end......since you were BOTH having sex, then why would you think your sex drive is higher than his? The only difference was that he had time, and he had the energy. Sex is important, but he's got his priorities straight.....rest is more important when it's needed.