I don't understand "Woman on Top" Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1999
I don't understand "Woman on Top" Sex
6
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 11:24pm
Folks,

My wife has orgasmed when I perform oral or stimulate her clitoris with my fingers on the "outside". We have tried to have me insert a finger but she doesn't like it that way.

A new and perhaps unusual way that she reaches orgasm is that we sit facing each other and she grabs my member and with her hand directs it where she wants (usually in a circular motion until she comes). It takes everything I have to hold back and not orgasm myself. Seeing her get herself off using my member in her hand as a "joystick" is a major turn-on. The downside is that I don't get to be inside her when she orgasms and I feel a little distant. I want to have "full contact" sex. I could care less about our orgasms being times mutually....I just want her to have one with me inside.

Now, what we don't understand is why she can't have an orgasm while on top WITH ME INSIDE. We have tried and she says she doesn't feel the stimulation on her clitoris. We searched all over for good articles on sex with "woman on top" and they all say for the woman to rub her clitoris on the man's pubic bone for stimulation. Pubic Bone? Where the hell is that? And even if I have one...isn't it going to be covered with so much muscle, fat, cartilege, etc. that she won't feel it. My wife felt around for mine and says perhaps my pubic bone is not pronounced enough or it is covered in muscle/fat and she can't feel it. I have no idea what it is she is supposed to rub her clitoris on when she is on top.

Can anyone direct me to a good description of how to have "woman on top" sex? I've visited the Cosmopolitan board description and we are still at a loss. Is there an alternative to the "pubic bone" stimulating her? I have tried to use my fingers but it is hard as there is very little room between our bodies when she is on top. How do I fit my fingers on her clitoris...and even if I can get them there...I can't move around freely enough to pleasure her and it feels so awkward and clumsy.

We are much better at getting her off if she does the moving. Even during oral...all I typically do is "roll my tongue around" and "lick in a circular motion" and she moves to wherever it feels good to her until she orgasms. One alternative is to have her "touch herself off" while she is on top but there is just not enough room to get her fingers comfortably in between our bodies and move them around the way she wants when we are "belly to belly".

Am I making any sense? Anyone have any advice. This is embarassing to ask but we are at our wits end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Sun, 09-26-2004 - 11:53pm
When my fiance and I have sex, it seems that the only way that he can cum is when I am on top. That's probably because I'm doing most of the work so he can relax a little more. Anyway, we have found that one way that me on top is very pleasurable is when I put my legs down further so that I am more or less lying on top of him. I put my knees down more towards his feet. That way, I find that it stimulates my clit more. Another thing we like to do is use a vibrator to stimulate my clit when he is inside me. We have a small vibrator that fits on your finger, and it's great, because I can also use it to stimulate his penis and his balls. By using the vibrator, I can cum clitorally while his penis is inside me. It's great! You should look in to getting one. The one I have is recommended by Sue Johansen, the sex lady LOL!! It's the Fukuoku, or something like that. ~Sabrina
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 12:52pm
The pubic bone is right above your penis, where your pubic hair is.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:05pm
I like the idea of facing each other and using his dick as a joystick! Can't wait to try it. I LOVE having my boyfriend lick my clit while inserting his fingers in and out. Ooohhh. My P______ feels wet just thinking about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:40pm
I think that if you were to do the 'woman on top' position, there would be just enough room for her fingers, if your hands/fingers are too big to fit. If not, I would experiment around and see what other positions she might like..there are alot of other ways you could try that leave the clitoris open for pleasure.

As far as the oral part goes, maybe you should try to not just use your tongue, but insert a finger just inside the opening at the same time. Move it around a little and have her just relax. If she's relaxed enough, you might be able to make her orgasm that way. Hope this helps!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:50pm
I rub my clitoris on the skin above his pubic hair while grinding on top. It only takes light contact to stimulate the clit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:23pm
I know this isn't what you asked for, but I find I can orgasm really well if my boyfriend penetrates me from behind, while I am laying down, and he reaches around and rubs my clit.