kissing advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
kissing advice
4
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 6:42am
I have only been in a very few relationships and have very little experience. I'm a very confident person, just a little unsure when it comes to certain things. I am perfectly comfortable with most physical aspects of dating.....except kissing. I tend to get very nervous on the first kiss, no matter how much I like her or how well the evening has gone. The first 3-4 'kissing encounters' with a girl, are kind of an exploration period to me. I use them to find out how she likes to be kissed, how she kisses, and so on. I don't think much at all of the first few times I kiss a girl. The thing is, I am going out with a coworker(we've been flirting back and forth for a while now) and she has said several times in the past that the first kiss means everything. It tells her how good he is in bed and if the relationship is even going to be any good.

So, to my question. I was wondering if any of you ladies could give me some pointers on making that first kiss extra-special, really knock her off her feet. Even just general kissing tips would be appreciated(you may mention something I've never thought of before). Thanks in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 9:19am
Her statement, "the first kiss tells how good a man is in bed" is ridiculous. Nothing tells that until you get there! However, now she's got you spooked, and full of self doubt.

Kissing is something that's different for everyone, and unless you slobber all over her, you can't do that much wrong. You're right, the first few times is just exploration, just as all sexual activity is. There is NO way you can know how another person will respond until you try.

I think what your friend really means is that you can tell by the first kiss if there's any "chemistry" there. Even that doesn't always hold true, but usually you can tell if there's at least a spark.

You said you have no problem with the other "physical aspects" of dating....does that mean sex? If you've dated, and you've had sex, then it's highly unlikely that there's anything wrong with your kissing techniques, or you wouldn't have gotten beyond the kissing.

Don't let her worry you......continue doing exactly what you've always done. If she's not "knocked off her feet".....then she's just not that interested in you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:32am
Well from a woman's perspective I can tell you that kissing is the window to how well you'll do in other areas. If you can't kiss good then you probably can't do other sexual things good and I'm not going to stick around to find out. Kissing is one of the simplest things and if you screw that up or you can't turn me on with your kiss then I'm done!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 1:05pm
Hi pilsung.

Been there, pal, lol. My thoughts, as a fellow guy, is that the first kiss isn't the tell all at all. I think its a first step of a learning experience...along with a simple gesture of deeper affection of course. ;)

Here's two links that I think would really help along with the valuable replies you're getting:

18 Simple Rules for Becoming a Better Kisser

http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/experts/experts_by_month/articles/0,,166915_622270,00.html

Kiss Like a Movie Star: 9 Hottest Kisses of Hollywood

http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/chickflicks/articles/0,,166915_59769,00.html

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:11pm
Kissing is instinctive. I find that the more you overthink it and worry about technique, etc. the worse you'll perform.

IF you just forget about what you're doing, be spontaneous and in the moment with her then it will be much more satisfying for both of you.

I think what your co-worker probably meant by her "first kiss" statement was that the chemistry is either there or it's not. I've kissed a few men in my life and that's generally been true, regardless of the quality of the actual first kiss. Just my 2.