HE CALLED BACK

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
HE CALLED BACK
7
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 7:56pm
So the saga continues. That Ex that I just broke up with last Sunday called me this past Friday. This was the first time I spoke to him since the breakup.

He started the conversation by asking me how my interview went earlier that day. I just got laid off from my job and I had an interview everyday last week except on Wednesday. The Ex remembered my interview schedule and was trying to act all concerned.

So after all the small talk, I told him that I'm surprised he called me back since I broke up with him last Sunday. I guess he thought I was playing last week because he kept asking me the same dumb questions like he didn't understand what was going on. I basically repeated everything I discussed on that *I Dumped Him* thread, plus added a few more things for good measure. I told my Ex that he is very rude, unreliable, and selfish. I also told him that I can't be with someone who doesn't keep his word and who dates other women . . .

The Ex didn't get this! He believed there was nothing wrong with him seeing other women at this point since we've only been dating for about 4 weeks now. I told him that *Although we are both seeing other people, there is a certain *way* to handle the situation.* I basically felt that he was smearing this in my face by openly having a chat convo with another woman, checking movie times (w/o inviting me to the movies) and by having his cell ring 6 times (and sending a text message as a reply). All of these things clearly suggested to me that he was seeing someone else and that he's not really into me because, if he was into me, he wouldn't be so disrespectful to me and my feelings. Am I overreacting here?

He first tried to make excuses by saying that the women with whom he was chatting with was a friend who saw him online. I said *If she was just a friend, they why did she ask you were you were at all morning? Why didn't you tell her that you were busy or had company and will chat with her later? Why did you close the chat browser on her and shut down the computer without saying goodbye?* And as far as the movies, he said he was checking the movie times for us and, in fact, we had a discussion about some baseball movie that is currently playing. I explained to him that *Merely discussing a movie is different from inviting me to the movies, especially since you told me that you had to work that day . . .* He stated that sometimes he calls in from work on Saturdays. So I asked him if he called in last Saturday and he said no. So why did he check movie times then? Obviously he was loosing the argument with me. . . .

So he finally caved in and apologized for being inconsiderate and for hurting my feelings. He also said that he feels bad now because he didn't realize that he was hurting me. Although I accept his apology, we're still haven't made up in my opinion. I told him that I felt *played* and that I believe he had me on hold last Sunday night just in case his *Bigger Better Date* fell through. He said that was not true. I also asked him if I was just a booty call to him and he angrily said *No - I would never let a booty call stay at my house overnight by herself.* He let me stay at his house by myself last Friday night while he was at work.

Finally he asked me if I wanted to end this thing and that, if I did want to break up with him, he would be disappointed but would understand . . . . Obviously he didn't take me seriously when I broke up with him on Sunday. At the end of the conversation he told me to keep in touch and that he had to go back to work . . . . .

We spoke again last night while he was at work again. The Ex said that he wanted to see me and that we should get together today (Sunday) since he will be off from work. I did not accept his invite and I said we will talk soon. Well I haven't heard from him since.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 12:38am
<< I told him that I felt *played*>>

-You are getting played, IMHO. I have seen friends and roomies pull that sort of crap on girlfreinds and sort-of-girlfriends and this-chick-I-picked-up-downtown a thousand times. The same old lines, the same old strategy. He wants to have sex with you. He wants to have sex with other women too. He is trying to have as much sex as he can with any woman he finds attractive (and probably a few he doesn't) He is saying that BS so that you will continue to have sex with him for awhile. You were right to ditch him.

-phat

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:09am
Why are you still saying that you will talk soon and all of that bs? You guys don't even live near each other and he obviously doesn't know how to be boyfriend, friend, anything really... so what is he to you? You weren't together long enough to obviously be attached. Also, you don't need to deal with his emotional, needy, and confusing rollercoaster that he's pulling you through. Piece of advise, next time he calls... tell him to never call again, that he won't be hearing from you either and hang up. If he calls back, don't answer. Simple as that. Move on hunny because NONE of it is worth your time and aggrivation.

-Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 4:28am
Thanks guys . . . And yes Jessica I plan to ignore his phone calls from this point on. This is ridiculous! I'll never find a decent BF at this rate!!! I'm so angry right now! :-(
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 6:57pm
Don't let this guy drain your energy or make you cynical because if you do, then he wins.

There ARE great guys out there, you just have to set your standards higher and be willing to cut loose those guys who are not honest and dependable SOONER.

He's calling you now because he wants to try and keep you handy, just in case. Don't fall for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 8:26pm
Yeah I see right through his game . . . . . This really sucks big time!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 1:39am
This is just one experience that honestly wasn't worth your time (and I know you know that) so it's not worth your anger now. Keep going on with things how they were. There has been some point that we've all thought what you think. Don't go looking for love, it will find you. haha I met my fiance online and had to move from Washington state up to Alaska to be with him... love comes in strange places, so keep your head up because anything can happen. Good luck sweetie and know that your time is coming when you get to be with a REAL man!! ;)

-Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 10:59am
Thank you hon! Wow your story is very inspirational!