Painful at first?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Painful at first?
1
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 5:54am
Hi all,

I have lurked on these boards on and off for quite a long time (several years actually) more off than on but still. I have recently started having sex with my girlfriend of 3 months who I love dearly. Both of us were virgins so this was both of our first times. We're in our early (her) to mid (me) 20's. Things went sorta predictably - the first two or three times there was some pain, perhaps even a lot of pain the first couple times regardless of how aroused I got her (I masturbated her to at least 3-4 orgasms right before we tried penetration). While we did our share of fumbling and learning it was fun and did make us more intimate. We've probably done it around 20ish times now and are fairly comfortable with the basics. I guess she is fortunate in that she is capable of having an orgasm from intercourse alone (provided she is sufficiently aroused when we start). She seems to have orgasms pretty easily in general too. I seem to have more stamina than seems to be normal for men according to what I've read. Lasting over an hour is not that hard for me to do although I am capable of achieving orgasm within 5-10 minutes perhaps if I don't hold back. I wonder if I would have more trouble holding back without the condom though, it does seem to dull sensation a bit...

Anyways that was just background as to our general level of experience and where we're at so you have some idea of how to answer my main question. Despite the fact that we've been having sex for a while now and she can even orgasm from intercourse alone, when I first enter her there is some pain that seems relatively intense when I first put it in and for the first 2-3 strokes maybe and then it all seems fine. Keep in mind I generally make sure she has at least one orgasm before we start and we usually have quite a bit of foreplay beforehand. She is quite wet when we first start so I doubt its a problem of lubrication. Plus the pain passes very fast its basically only at first penetration.

My question is what might the causes of this initial pain be and is it normal? I guess she thought the pain would go away eventually and she has talked to some of her friends who say they don't have any pain at all. Any advice, tips, or ideas on our situation? Thanks a lot in advance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 8:57am
Welcome Schroder and glad you came out of the lurking world.

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