Not enough experience - Bad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Not enough experience - Bad?
5
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 6:39pm
I have a question for the guys here, for those who have a lot of sexual experience.

I just started a relationship with this guy, he's 8 years older than me, he's been with at least 30 women throughout his life, so pretty much he's tasted and tried everything and knows a lot about what things to do, what women like, how to give pleasure. I've only had 2 sexual partners in my life. Obviously he has a lot more experience than me, and when we have sex it's great, but most of the time it's him making the moves, you know, kind of like he's the one teaching me... I feel like when I do something new for us or try to spice it up with something spontaneous and fun, it's not a big deal for him, it's like I kind of feel unexperienced in the sexual aspect and I was wondering how he might feel about it. I'm not saying he's the only one making the first moves to have sex, I do make the first moves also, but it's like I feel that whatever I do it's not gonna be a big deal for him.

How would you feel if your girlfriend has a lot less sexual experience than you and basically you're the one who's "teaching" there and you don't get anything new from her? Do you think you would get bored?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 7:08pm
I am not a guy, but I am in a relationship with someone older who had more experience when we started dating and having sex. He was the first one for me. We still talk about things years later, and I ask him if there anything he would want to try, so I save it in my mind for later and use it "when the time comes*. ;)

I do have to admit that I was rather clumsy when we just started, but I think I was a good student and he was a good teacher. Don't worry about things, if you have a trusting relationship it will all work out.

Baci

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 1:04am
So he's had more lovers and logged more "sack time." So what? He still needs to learn how to please YOU!

Each new partner is a unique experience, so one "fabulous" technique, move, or idea does NOT please all! Everyone starts fresh with a new person in their bed regardless of how many previous lovers one has. You can learn so much from one lover or even through your own self discovery so numbers mean nothing, IMO.

Stop looking at this as a contest, it isn't. Be spontaneous, be responsive, be energetic, be in-the-moment when you're together and BE YOURSELF. Nothing's better to a man than that.

You've had 2 lovers, I'm sure you've shared that with him so don't pressure yourself to be something you aren't. When you feel more confident and comfortable, then you can start making some suggestions or "moves." And you should start by suggesting things YOU are interested in, not just what he might be.






Edited 10/9/2004 1:11 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 10:53am
Thanks for the input. I do think about my interests and desires, but since he's such a great lover and pays great attention to my needs, I would like to give him the same pleasure he gives me. And I can't help feeling a lil insecure in this arena cuz he's had a lot of hot sexual partners before. I'm hot too -hehe- but I'm more into the conservative type. I don't know what he's doing going out with me, I am so totally different from all his former lovers, most of them super sexy hot stripper-kind of girls.

Yeah, I guess I just need to be me, I won't try to fake I'm a sexual bomb or anything. Just keep it interesting and spice it-up my way, if he likes me that's great, if he gets bored, then I need to get a boring guy -lol...
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 12:47pm
Hon, you need to give yourself more credit. He's not with those stripper-types anymore for a reason. Maybe he's ready to settle down with someone more real and "conservative." He wouldn't be with you if he wanted the same old thing, would he? I think the fact that you are so different may mean that he's moved past his wild flings.

But there's nothing wrong with trying to keep things hot in the bedroom, just remember, it's not a contest. It's about making love and by doing that, you ARE giving him pleasure, both physically and emotionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 5:11pm
Speaking as a hubby here,

I actually like it when my wife & I try something new as well as enjoying what we're really experienced with together. I can't imagine your guy would not enjoy the thrill of having a experience with you.

Its not just the pleasure of sex, but its also the enjoyment of that particular companion during it, and if he IS that type of guy that wants YOU and not just the sex, then let the experience of be the enjoyment of it, and not just the old experience of the sex itself.

Like I said, hopefully he really is that type of great guy. Like you said, he is with YOU.

:)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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