My man didn't cum!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
My man didn't cum!!!
13
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 3:22pm
My man & I finally had sex last night (after I had to ask for it)... but he did not come. I even gave him oral. Why didn't he come? This isn't the first time. Is there something wrong with him? Perhaps it's ME...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 3:40pm

Hello,


There can be a lot of different reasons why he couldn't finish.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 6:21pm

You answered your own question in your posts below *Vaginal Tightness*.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 7:04pm
Oh, okay... (Tish)... I didn't know that. I thought men can cum over & over again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 10:34pm
hightek, impotence and loss of interest in sex are both well-known effects of cocaine use. just do a google search for "cocaine and impotence" and you'll see a zillion articles about it. i think the cocaine is hurting his sexual performance, and he's blaming the problem on you and your body, rather than facing the real culprit - the cocaine.

i really want you to talk to someone more qualified about the problems you're having. there are hotlines you can call, and talk to counselors who know much more than anyone on this board about cocaine and its effects on relationships. you don't have to give them your name. you can talk to them about his drug use, or your own drug use, or both. will you give it a try and call one of these?

Cocaine Help Line

1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)

24 Hour Cocaine Hotline

1-800-992-9239

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:09pm
Yes, I will call the Cocaine Help Line, but I will NOT give out my name. Thank you so much for your support. I just want to cry right now. I hate my lifestyle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 6:52pm
I wish my man & I had sex more than once a week. I mean, I am 23 & he is 25 & we're both still young-- my neigbors are a lot older & have more sex than we do. I brought it up the other day with him (my SO) and he said, "Maybe it's the drugs." I agree. I know it is. Cocaine causes you to have a lower sex drive, doesn't it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 7:22pm

>>"Maybe it's the drugs."<

If he masturbates to porn a lot then what sex drive he had left after the coke is being used up by that. A lot of the time with men the spirit can be willing but the body can be weak. As already said, men just can't cum and cum even if they are still interested having sex. They usually need a bit of rest now and again to recooperate, so to speak.Another thing with masturbation is that the stimulation that he can give himself is very specific. It's very difficult, if not impossible, for you and your vagina to simulate the intense and often strong stimulation that he gives himself. It's not uncommon for guys that masturbate a lot to get so used to the stimulation from masturbation that they just can't get off during intercourse because it's a different kind of feeling. Aside, women that use vibrators a lot can have the same problem.

As already suggested, the cocaine is the main problem - in so many ways. The best thing that you could do to begin to improve your sex life, and life in general, is to get him off the coke. Until you do that you won't be able to clearly sort out the other problems.Having said all this, sometimes, if he just isn't right into the mood he may not be able to cum. Even guys have to be in the mood, just as you have to be. In this case, you were the one that initiated the sex. He may have played along even though he wasn't really in the mood.

Edited 10/22/2004 7:23 pm ET ET by westridge2001




Edited 10/22/2004 7:24 pm ET ET by westridge2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 8:31pm

<<>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 9:30pm
wishing things were better will get you nowhere. You know the reasons for your and his problems - and you already know that the only way to fix it is for both of you to get clean.

Quite frankly, these are the choices in your life:

1. With regards to your boyfriend getting clean, you cannot influence him. It's 100% his decision. However, remember that if he truly cared about you, he would get clean. At this point, his drugs mean much more to him than you do.

2. Also, if you really care about yourself, you will get clean.

3. If he refuses to get clean, you can either stay and accept that nothing will change until one of you dies of an O/D or you can leave and make a better life for yourself.

But remember this: While you choose to stay in this situation YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN, NOR DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SEEK SYMPATHY. You are in a hell of your own making and it's up to you to sort out the mess.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 1:20am
Cocaine

Cocaine, both in powder form and as crack, is an extremely addictive stimulant. An addict usually loses interest in many areas of life, including school, sports, family, and friends. Use of cocaine can lead to feelings of paranoia and anxiety. Although often used to enhance sex drive, physical effect of cocaine on the receptors in the brain reduce the ability to feel pleasure (which in turn causes the dependency on the drug).

_____________________________________

P.S. I don't know if this will do you any good, but ironically today is my brother's 49th birthday. He died when he was 37 after his heart gave out from an overdose of cocaine. Maybe it's an omen that I saw your post on his birthday. Please get help.




Edited 10/23/2004 10:51 am ET ET by root_of_all_evil

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