My Boyfriend is interested in BDSM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
My Boyfriend is interested in BDSM
2
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 10:32pm
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. And at the moment we live in different cities. We chat online, which has allowed us to open up about our sexual needs. Well, I sent him this questionaire I found online- which is to improve your sex life. It asks your partner questions about what they like etc.

So, today as we were chatting my boyfriend told me that he is interested in S&M. And that he wants to be the bottom, and I be the top. I am not sure what to think of his wanting to be the bottom. I expect men to want to be the top, but I don't understand this. I'm open to understanding this, and am open to experimenting. So, could any of you please explain to me why you think a man would like to be the bottom and not the top?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 3:24am
You might want to also post this question on the Taboos board. I think there are quite a few people there who can give you some insight.

Barbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 10:33am
Don't know how your relationship works, obviously, but most men feel they are supposed to be the sexual initiator/dominant partner in a relationship. He may want this as a chance to be the seducee instead of the seducer, to be the one being laid back and taken instead of the one on top taking you.

Suggest if you go ahead with this, remember for guys it's about stretching out the experience vs. how quick you can get him off. Tease him (then tease him some more) before you finally please him.