Does this mean anything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Does this mean anything?
5
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 6:20am

If a man inserts his finger in your, for lack of a more sophisticated word, bottom when you are having intercourse, does that mean he is interested in anal sex?

This happened to me over the weekend. We've been intimate for about 3 months and he has never done anything like this before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 7:17am
He might be... He probably did it thinking you'd enjoy it. Some women like anal stimulation (just a finger or two or full anal act). If you don't like it, let him know, or else he might assume you enjoyed it, and do it again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 9:25am

It means that someone told him that it felt good to them, and he's doing it to you. Unfortunately some people never learn that what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another person. And some people never learn that things like that need to be discussed beforehand, just in case the person doesn't like it, or as in your case, wonders why he did it.

Here we go with communication again. If you liked it, tell him. If you didn't like it, tell him that. If it's bothering you that he might want anal, and you don't, or even if you do, ask him about that, too. Maybe he'd like you to do it to him! Men like it because it's a way of "massaging" their prostate....and NO, that doesn't mean he has gay tendencies.

If you can do it, or allow it to be done to you, then there's no reason you can't discuss it like two adults.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 9:35am

Hi Shazzy,

It's best not to make any assumptions when it comes to what "something means". Because more times than not assumptions are wrong.

My wife loves to have a little anal stimulation during intercourse...your bf may very well have learned to do this in a previous relationship or he just spontaneously tried it.

I disagree with Greenteabag (which is rare) in this case. I don't think everything needs to be clinically discussed before sex. You didn't mention if you liked it or not, but just go with how it feels at the time; if he does it and you don't like it, gently move his hand, he will get the hint. Of course if he insists and you don't like it, then you can talk to him about it. But, do it in a nonjudmental, gentle way, because you want him to feel free to follow his desires and intuition during sex because you don't want him to become formulaic...that's boring.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 5:24pm
Well, I was quite surprised so I said "What are you doing?" He just laughed and stopped. I don't think I hurt his feelings....we do tend to joke around during sex and he didn't seem at all upset. Thanks for your opinions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 6:02pm
No, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants anal sex.

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