Oral Questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Oral Questions
5
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 9:35am

Hi everyone. I need some advice/suggestions for performing oral sex on my
girlfriend. Before getting to business, I usually head down on my girlfriend.
It's a blast and it lengthens the experience. The only problem is that I can't
get her to orgasm from doing it! I'm pretty sure I've got the foreplay nailed,
along with the tongue business.

The problem is when I start licking her clitoris. I can get her to the point
where she seems like she's about to orgasm, but we end up stopping because she
says it's too sensitive and she feels like she can't control herself. I try to
reassure her, but she seems hesitant because it feels much different than when
she orgasms solo. For what it's worth, she was a virign when we met, so she
doesn't have any previous experience with this.

Can anyone shed some light on what she might be feeling? Are the orgasms
different through oral stimulation? Common sense is telling me that I need to
raise her comfort level, but I'm a guy and relatively clueless. I'm trying hard
to make it as enjoyable as possible for her and would appreciate any
suggestions. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: texashah
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 10:02am
Your girlfriend is not allowing herself to just let go and go along with what she is feeling.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: texashah
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 11:19am

We each learn what gets us to the point of no return through trial and error so don't allow her to make you stop when she's almost there, move your tongue to another location or change the stimulation. Either lighten the pressure or increase it or use your tongue differently. Begin lightly flicking her clitoris if you've been steadily licking it. Sometimes, just pressure is enough to get over the edge. The point is keep trying. After all, isn't that part of the fun?

I would also suggest "The Clitoral Kiss" available on www.xandria.com for more tips on providing great cunnilingus.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: texashah
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 11:42am

I think I can relate to what she's saying... Sometimes direct clitoral stimulation can be too much for me. Or maybe she's still too shy to orgasm in front of you? Or maybe she felt like the orgasm would be too strong that she might pee herself (I know it sounds silly, but I've felt like that before, although never peed myself, it's just a sensation that I *might*...)? Or maybe the stimulation is not quite right?

Couple of suggestions:
1. Give her oral, when she's close, let her manually bring herself to orgasm. She'll become more comfortable orgasming in front of you and you can also get the chance to *observe*. And hopefully eventually she'll be okay with you bring her to orgasm.

2. Try different positions. My favorite is my husband on top of me upside down (basically 69, with him on top). This allows me to control how wide to open my legs and the angle to tilt my pelvis, as sometimes I find in other positions my legs open too wide or my pelvis tilt too high for my liking. This position gives very similar feelings as when I masturbate lying on my back. But don't worry about actually doing the 69 part... tell her she could have a lick if she fancies, but don't worry about your pleasure, just concentrate on hers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: texashah
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 1:38pm

I agree with all the others, but something no one mentioned is that you have to STOP trying to "make" her have an orgasm. You can't make her do it, you don't "give" her orgasms. All you can do is provide the stimulation...the rest is up to her. This goal of yours is putting pressure on her, and that pressure is not going to produce orgasms, only anxieties. She's trying to please you instead of just enjoying what you're doing, and it doesn't work that way.

If you continue to make her orgasm your goal, the next thing you know she'll be faking it, just to please you. You don't want that, do you?

You just provide the pleasure, allow her to relax and enjoy what you're doing, and eventually she'll figure out how to have them. Forget the word "orgasm" and replace it with "pleasure". She's capable of enjoying the stimulation, and she will enjoy it if you let her. Orgasms are wonderful, but they are NOT necessary to enjoy sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
In reply to: texashah
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:16am
My man totally agree's with you this site has helped both of us, tell your girlfriend to join this site ill talk to her.