Drugs have taken a toll in my life...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Drugs have taken a toll in my life...
12
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 2:34am

My man is a drug addict. So am I. He wants to change... so do I. But it's very hard. I never pay for the drugs... he does. And when it's around, it hard to resist. The other day, his drug dealer asked him to drive him somewhere & that if my man did, the drug dealer would hook him up. He didn't want to, but I added, "If you don't want to take him, I will." He looked at me with disbelief and said, "You're a bad influence." I looked down at the ground and said, "I know I am." What can I do? He doesn't want me doing drugs- he wants me to stop. He said, "I thought you said you were going to change-- you're not going to change." I want him to change, as well. I am tired of living this way. I noticed that when he's off the drugs and doesn't have any, he is in a bad mood & gets angry real easily. Please help us!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 3:09am
What type of drugs do you take?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:05am

If you really want to stop drugs, you have to get into a rehab program but you have to want to do it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:44am
Haven't you posted this almost exact same message before?

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:57am

If and when you truly want to get off drugs, you will get yourself the help that you need. A sexual message board is NOT going to help you.......you have to help yourself.

Being around another addict isn't going to help you, either. You can't blame him for what you do, and he can't blame you for what he does. Maybe if you get arrested during one of your "transactions".....that will wake you up....and get you into rehab...which is the only thing that will help you. But even in rehab, you have to truly WANT it, or it won't work.

Addiction is a terrible thing.....but the addict is the only one who can WANT to end it. I've never used drugs, but I'm addicted to cigarettes, and I don't expect anyone else to help me stop. That's up to me, and no one else. My ex husband is an alcoholic. He's been in rehab twice (court ordered, after DUI's), as well as AA (also court ordered), but he doesn't want to quit, so it doesn't do a thing for him.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 2:31pm

No one can do this for you, hightek, you and your guy will have to separate and do it individually. Two addicts together, will be addicts for life. One of you will always have a weak moment, as you pointed out in your post, so it's best to get away from each other and get clean.

But only YOU can make that decision for yourself. Talking about it isn't going to help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 10:19pm

You've posted before about this and you were determined to change - but see how hard it is?

The only realistic option is to get yourself into a rehab scheme and cut all ties with your man and his associates and the people that you know that are into the drugs. It's hard enough trying to give up all by yourself without having the drugs and all the people and places that you associate with drugs still around you.

This doesn't have to be the end of the relationship - perhaps you could see it as going away for a while to get yourself clean first, and then going back and getting your b/f. With your help and the help of the people that you have met in the rehab program you may have a chance at remaining clean yourself AND getting your b/f clean too.

Like you, he has to want, really want, to get clean himself. No amount of pushing or pleading by you will get him clean if he doesn't want to. If he can't help himself at the moment he's certainly not going to be able to help you get off the drugs either.

Whatever you do, get some help and get yourself clean first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 3:55am
I dont know if i agree with the having to split up in order to stop using drugs. I agree that if you were going to do it together that you would have to stop talking to everyone else you know, which might mean a change in location. But you could lean on eachother and make an agreement to sort of "police" eachother if it was done in a respectfull manner. Good Luck to you !!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 8:36am
Generally speaking I would agree with you but,

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 10:15am
so does anyone know exactly what she's on??

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 11:07am
From a previous post of hers:

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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