Who does the "work"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Who does the "work"
14
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:14pm
I'm a middle aged woman and have had several relationships. I have received minor complaints from my past two short-term relationships. Each said something similar. Has lovemaking changed over the years? Basically, I spread my legs and hold them up in the air so the man can penetrate, move and do his thing. I can orgasm if a man moves up in the CAT position to contact my clit. Each said I should take a more active roll by pushing back up and squeezing them. Did I encounter two weirdos, or am I not doing sex correctly? I always thought it was a man's job to please his partner and himself, by letting the man do all the work. Do other women lay back and enjoy their men, or are they more active?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:39pm

The first time I laid back and let him do all the work, but then again I was lossing my virginity and parallized with fear. Once we got it right I have never just laid there and let him do his job. Not even when I was restrained.

Lots of positions to try and this is definitely a case of "the more you put into it the more you get out of it."

Happy experimenting with new positions and ENJOY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:49pm
Do other women push back and meet a man's rhythm? I thought I was doing my kegel's right, but nobody can feel when I do them when they are inside. Where should they be feeling them? At the opening or all along their length?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 8:06pm

Since sex is for both partners, IMO....both partners should play an *active* roll in it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 8:33pm

My gosh woman (and I ask this in the kindest way), did you miss the whole bra-burning/women's liberation thing?

If you are just laying there and letting the guy do all of the work, you are missing out on half (or more!) of the pleasure. And you need to do more than just "meeting his thrusts". Grab his butt and pull him into you. Talk to him. Hold his shoulders. Grab the back of his head and pull him into a long, hard, kiss. Turn him onto his back and get on top for a change.

But, whatever you do, don't just lay there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 11:39pm

I'd say that if only recently two guys have complained, whoever you were with in your past were the weirdos! I can't believe that you think that sex is all about you allowing him to take his pleasure with your body. What a boring sex life you must have!

There are hundreds of positions that you can use besides laying on your back! What about you on top? What about doggie style?

Aside from positions....don't you think THEY would like some attention too? What about foreplay....oral sex, manual stimulation....for you AND for him? Do you get any pleasure out of sex?

If a man wanted a "body" that just laid there.....they could get a blow up doll! They want a woman who is enjoying herself, who's showing some enthusiasm for what he's doing, and who's doing things to him, too.

Sex is NOT a way of a man relieving himself. He can masturbate to do that. Sex is something for TWO people, to enjoy intimacy and give and get pleasure......BOTH of you.

Get yourself some soft porn videos......and SEE what women do when they're with their man!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:02am
You now have the opinion of 3 woman and a man, trust us that women don't just lay there. I think greenteabag has a good suggestion, rent yourself some soft porn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 5:06am

It's definitly a case of the more you put in the more you get out,
And a girl who is enthusiastic and aural about sex is hard to beat.
Like gtb said if a guy didn't want any response he could get a doll or mastarbate and he's be done dusted and finished in no time and back to watching the football or whatever.

Sex without the imput of Both Partners is a long way short of what it can be, we all need some spontaneity & surprise's when we make love it's what makes it intresting
Have Fun
Jacobiteone

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 2:19pm

Oh no! IF I just laid there, my DH would be taking my pulse! LOL!

If I'm REALLY enjoying myself, it's impossible for me to be still.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 7:29pm
Its no fun for me if I don't participate too ...

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 5:58pm

>>If you are just laying there and letting the guy do all of the work, you are missing out on half (or more!) of the pleasure. And you need to do more than just "meeting his thrusts". Grab his butt and pull him into you. Talk to him. Hold his shoulders. Grab the back of his head and pull him into a long, hard, kiss. Turn him onto his back and get on top for a change.

But, whatever you do, don't just lay there!<<

Crass or not, I agree 100%, thank you jackson2345. :)

Ctrim, I'd also like to point out the importance of communication...sigh...aaaaaaagain. LOL! PLEASE remember that "communication" doesn't mean talk talk talk. Communication involves teaching and learning from each other through the way you move or do things or the way you react/respond to certain things.

The number one point of it all is that sex isn't simply about feeling good and getting that orgasm. It honestly is about expression, expression of how much you really and not just a case of getting an orgasm out of it.

As stated, getting involved is done so with the purpose of wanting each other, in other words, there may not really be any way of doing it right or wrong so long as you're safely doing what you feel like doing.

BELIEVE IT!, if you just lay there, then you are showing that you don't crave your partner. Its true.

 

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