finding the third person
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finding the third person
| Sun, 01-23-2005 - 10:05pm |
It's been a constant thought and reoccurring discussion here about having a MFM or FMF. My DB and I have been discussing it for awhile and are possibly looking to bring in another female. For those that have in the past.... how did you find the thrid person that both you and your SO were going to be okay with? I'm interested in hearing if it was a prostitute, friend, friend of a friend, etc. Hope to hear some ideas! Thank you! :)
-Jessica
-Jessica

There is a website called Adult Friend Finder, I have used that. Also lavalife has an intimate encounters section, they also have a site called womanline that is strictly women looking for women (you have to be careful how to word what you write on either section though).
But I guess the best measure of whether or not it will work with someone you know is in a party type situation with a few drinks in people, and a little bit of flirting between all 3 of you (say you are trying to get another woman involved, you flirt with her for a bit, see the response...then SO flirts with her (seperately) and see the response....then a little bit of flirting/touching between all 3 of you ....just gauge responses like that.) That's just my experience, I think the liquor reduces people's inhibitions a little. I have done it more than once in that fashion and it worked well. I coudln't imagine just casually asking an aquaitance if they would be interested, unless you had heart them talk about it multiple times that they would love to be involved in a 3some.
I am glad you are taking the first step and talking about it. I hope the discussion also includes boundries, what is acceptable, what roles the two of you will have, talking about scenarios (what if?) and working through some of the emotions before it pluging into a threesome.
Have the two of you considered a male instead? You can find about 1,000 males for every female who is interested in a threesome. The female that you are looking for does she have to be straight or can she be bi? Have you thought about your feelings if the encouter with the other f turned a bit bi, how would you respond? If you are looking for a single straight f, good luck. Single straight females almost does not exist and you may look a long time before finding one. Typically if you are going to find a f typically she will almost always be bi. The only exception is if you can find a couple with a straight f who is willing to let the f play with the two of you but be prepared as they may want you to reciprocate. Meaning you play with them in a threesome without your husband being present.
As for using a prostitue absolutely postively do not !!!!!!! The risk of AIDS / HIV, Hepres, STDs, hepititis, and the risk of robbery is too much for a night of fun. Get that idea quickly out of your head.
Friends are another possibility. However your friendship will forever change once you introduce the threesome idea. So you need to be careful with that one. Maybe find a friend that you know but not really close with in the event they do reject your approach.
Co-workers are like prostitutes don't use.
There are clubs, magazines, newspapers, and on-line web sites. I would recommend these as a starting point. Also there are message boards that address the topics related to swinging and are free.
For a threesome we used my spouses ex-boyfriend. We had talked about it, discussed boundries, and then let him know the boundries. Everyone was alright with it. It went a head and was a one time thing. It has been several years since that and we are still married.
"Co-workers are like prostitutes"
...They're only in it for the money!