I could use some help!
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I could use some help!
| Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:34am |
Ok so my boyfriend says that he really likes recieving oral sex and he keeps hinting that he wants me to go down on him. He isn't pushing me into anything that I don't want to do and he is more than willing to do it to me if I would say yes. And I would be willing too except that i've been putting it off. It's not that i'm uncomftorable with it or anything. It's just i've never actually given a guy a blow job before so i'm not exactly sure how to do it. Or what I need to do. I really want to because he likes it and I might, who knows, and I would feel better about getting it if I was giving it. But i've just never done it and i'm not even sure how to begin. Any advice and pointers would be great. Please Help!

What's wrong with being honest about telling him that you've never done it before? Everyone learns to do this the same way, by doing it.
The only tips I can offer you are to focus much of your attention on the head of the penis which is the most sensitive part and kiss, lick and suck on the whole erection as you move up and down. You are essentially mimicking intercourse with your mouth. Ask him if he likes his testicles stroked or your hand on his shaft. Some men do and others don't.
The rest, as far as his preferences are concerned, are for you two to discuss. Decide before if you will swallow or spit and that should always be YOUR choice. Do what you're comfortable with.
Tell him you've never done it before and ask for his guidance. Every man has his own special needs so you'll have to start the learning process over with each new partner.
And when the roles are reversed, tell him how to please you.
"Every man has his own special needs so you'll have to start over with each new one." The very reason why I mentioned that asking for guidance is important, jhun!
And I would have to disagree about "being careful of your teeth"...my DH happens to like the feeling of teeth!
Edited 1/28/2005 11:26 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
I copied and posted this from my post to you on the Oral Sex Board:
Don't worry if you feel a little self-concious with not knowing what to do. Everyone has to learn how to give a BJ. None of us are born knowing how to do it.
The basic BJ involves sucking his penis. As you get more confident with a penis in your mouth you can slide or "bob" your head and lips up and down his shaft while using a free hand (or thumb and forefinger) to grasp the part of the shaft his penis that isn't in your mouth. You pump your fingers up and down in time with the bobbing motion of your head.
Start just by examining his penis close-up. Take your time. Touch it with your finger tips, slide them over and around it feeling the soft skin and the strength and hardness beneath. Wet two finger-tips with saliva and stroke it gently - watch his reaction as you touch it. When you're ready, try kissing the round head with moist lips. Let just the tip slide between your lips. Concentrate on the sensation of the smooth soft skin of his penis between your lips. When your ready, just take the first inch into your mouth and suck gently. Try swirling the tip of your tongue around the egde of the head. Suck gently. Try sliding your wet and slippery lips back and forth over the head. Don't try to take more than the first inch into your mouth yet. As you get more confident you can vary what you are doing and try different things. Don't worry if you aren't doing much - most guys love their penises getting ANY attention.
Tips:
Use lots of saliva to keep him well lubricated and slippery.
Most guys like a firm grip. See how he reacts but the chances are that you are gripping to gently.
Keep your lips pursed so that your teeth don't touch his penis. Although some guys like a gentle scraping of teeth, most don't.
Vary your movements. You'll find that you will need to anyway because your jaw will get tired. When that happens just try giving your jaw a rest and doing somethingelse for a while - for example you could just give him a handjob and pump his penis with your closed fist. You could lick up and down the shaft. You can fondle and lick and suck his testicles. You could suck his nipples (but only if he likes that).
Things that you don't have to do? The first couple of inches are the most sensitive so you do NOT have to try to stuff his whole penis down your throat like in the porn movies. A 'deepthroat' move is not necessary for a good BJ.
There are lots of variations you can do. You can twist your hand as you move it up and down in a cork-screwing motion. You can use both hands. You can rubs or stroke or grip his penis. Talk to him or watch his reaction as you figure out what HE likes because all guys are different.
Figure out where he's going to cum. In your mouth? Do you spit or do you swallow? On your chest or in a tissue? Make sure you're prepared before you start and that he knows where you want him to cum. Tell him to tell you or groan or make a sign when he's going to cum so that it doesn't take you completely by surprise.
Finally, some guys just can't cum from the stimulation of a BJ. This is no reflection on your skills or ability. It's often a mental thing and although it feels great it just isn't quite the stimulation they're used to to achieve orgasm. After a while you can just stop and move onto intercourse or somethingelse. Don't feel bad if he doesn't cum. You can be assured that he did enjoy it!
Most importantly, don't take it too seriously. Have fun and enjoy learning what your partner likes. There is no such thing as a bad BJ and a really good one takes time to learn exactly what your partner likes.
>>And I would have to disagree about "being careful of your teeth"...my DH happens to like the feeling of teeth!<<
Actually, I myself with being careful with the teeth.
Elementary that not all nipples or penises or even clitorises have the sensitivity, so some may enjoy certain types of contact whereas others just simply can't handle it at all.
I'm VERY happy that the Mrs. here about it first so as to play it safe, THATs for sure, LOL!
;)
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