what if you find him
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what if you find him
| Fri, 02-04-2005 - 11:07am |
what if you went into a adult porn shop andfound your husband making love to another man?give me your ideas on what you would feel and think.

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Well, I hope you're not asking this because it happened to YOU! LOL! Obviously, I would be shocked and appalled especially, since the thought of same sex relations has always disgusted him. As Tish said though, he would be out the door. Infidelity is infidelity.
Edited 2/4/2005 11:47 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
I'd think..."Hmmmmm they certainly give good service here." ;-)
Actually, I'd feel sad and betrayed. DH knows that it's a soft spot for me(infidelity), and that I would be gone should he stray. Man or woman...the feelings would be the same. However, like Kat, I would be surprised.
Tricky question:
I'm a guy. My answer is speculation to a degree since I can't be involved in that exact situation of walking in on my husband.
Do you mean he is making love to some guy now, in person, right now? How would you discover that? It's not like they'd be doing it out in the open. Were they in a booth? If so, how did you find them?
Whatever the situation, my reaction would be the same if I walked in on him in any building or room and found him making love to another man. I'd be pretty disgusted, upset and betrayed. I think that the relationship would probably be over. The only reason that it might be OK would be where it was a set-up where they intended to surprise you because it was some fantasy that the two of you had shared and agreed to try one day - ie. seeing your husband with another man and being involved. Pretty far fetched I guess, but that would put a different spin on things.
If you mean that you have seen your husband on the cover of a gay blue movie on the shelf, that would still be shocking, disgusting and I would still feel betrayed. But my reaction and actions would depend on when it happened. Did it happen before or after I met and married him? Did I know or having any idea that he might be bisexual before this discovery?
Funnily enough, if the sexes are reversed then the husband's reaction probably wouldn't be the same. Seeing two women together always seems to be the top of the list for guy's fantasies so the reaction for a lot of guys might be quite different once the initial shock wore off.
"...the reaction for a lot of guys might be quite different once the initial shock wore off."
Boy, not in our case, Westie. If my DH caught me in the same situation, the consequences would be exactly the same. It would be over.
The truth of the matter is that no one can every really know everything about another person. All I can do is go by how **I** feel and what I know. I know that I don't have even one little iota of attraction to another woman(although I appreciate their beauty)sexually. Really, I know it to be a fact about me. I do not want to ever have any type of sex with any woman. Now, DH has told me the same about how he feels about men. So I have to believe him. If I can feel that way, I have to trust that he can. That's what trust is...it's believing.
Edited 2/4/2005 9:20 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
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