HELP! advice needed
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-06-2005 - 6:45pm |
I went on a dating website and met this guy. After three dates I discovered all he wanted was sex. I finally had sex with him on the 5th date. He never called again but I really didn't care because I knew his type and expected it. He's a computer consultant/freelancer guy, so a few weeks ago I had a computer problem with my Roxio burner and emailed him for help. I was desperate. Really, I was:
I was trying to convert my wav audio files from my digital camera to mp3's so I can burn them to a cd. I had attended an acoustic concert and recorded the sound with my digital camera. The sound came out really well because it was a quiet acoustic show. I had a problem converting them and called Roxio a week earlier. I was told I had to update my software to version 7. So after I did that, I still couldn't do it. The next day I called Roxio technical support and followed the instructions I was given. It still didn't work. I got a message saying the files were corrupt. Then someone told me there is a separate program that soley converts files to mp3's but she forgot what it's called. It was late at night when I attempted to try Roxio again and I was very frustrated because this had been going on for a while. The phonelines were closed so I emailed him. I get very impatient sometimes, especially if it's related to music. Would you have emailed him?
He replied, was really nice, and actually gave me some helpful info. I want to email him again to see if he's dating anyone or not and if we can hang out again, if you know what I mean. I'll be direct and let him know all I want is fun, give him a taste of his own medicine. Should I?
The last time I saw him was June but he replied to my email a few weeks ago. That's good, right? I'm not dating anyone, well, there is this guy who I'm friends with, but there are no sparks with him. There's also another guy from work who I really like and hope to develop a serious relationship with, so I REALLY AM trying to meet guys and get married. It could be too risky to date someone from work, though. I just want to "be" with a guy now. Should I email him? thanks
my other post if you are interested:

Honestly, you sound really desperate to get either laid or married, or both.
The computer guy? Forget him unless you want completely meaningless sex. And if that's all you want, then good and fine. I think that there is a good chance that you will be turned down by him a second time around. And don't even think of "giving him some of his own medicine" because games invariably don't work out very well. You'll end up feeling used or stupid again, I guarantee it.
Personally I think that you should buy a vibrator and concentrate on enjoying your life as it is and concentrate a LOT less on meeting guys and getting into serious relationships. Unfortunately when you do what you are doing now, you give off 'vibes' that an single guy can read a mile away. If you are enjoying the single life and are happy within yourself, you give off another completely different set of 'vibes' and guys see you as a fun, attractive person. That's why people talk about meeting a new man and then suddenly finding lots of other guys hitting on them - it's because they are giving off a happy, satisfied glow that men (Heck,everyone) finds attractive.
See how it develops with rude phonecall office guy by all means. But don't start thinking about having his babies just yet.
"...The computer guy? Forget him unless you want completely meaningless sex..."
that is exactly what I meant when I said "a taste of his own medicine"
any others agree here? thanks
>>"...The computer guy? Forget him unless you want completely meaningless sex..."
that is exactly what I meant when I said "a taste of his own medicine"<<
You're missing the point. You WON'T be giving him a taste of his own medicine, just more of what he only wanted in the first place. Sex, and he doesn't have to have anything else to do with you. He won't even give you a second thought, but you will end up feeling hurt and stupid.
Leticia
>>that is exactly what I meant when I said "a taste of his own medicine"<<
Trouble is that it won't be a taste of his own medicine - you'll be giving him what he wants. When you first met him, you had different expectations and didn't know what he wanted.
But if you just want sex, then I think that it's fine that you give him a call. I wouldn't expect him to even pretend that it's anything-else though. I'm not sure he would even be overly polite about it either. Second time around with this guy and all the cards are on the table. He knows and you know what you're calling him for. If he was so callous and obvious the first time, I cant imagine he'll be any better the second time around. I just think that you are better leaving sleeping dogs to lie...
If you're into the internet dating thing, I think that you'd be better off setting up a date with a NEW guy. OK, it's more complicated because a new guy is an unknown quantity - but at least you won't be wasting you energy on someone that is a waste of time. If you've got things straight in your head and approach it right with all the appropriate precautions, then you can always have meaningless sex with the new guy just as easily as you could have with computer guy. But who knows? Maybe it'll work out better? A fresh start gives you that chance.
Meanwhile, you can work on the guy at the office. I'm not sure about dealing with a guy thats rude on the phone, but if you're into him, then by all means pursue him. But again, just have a think about the consequences of a love affair gone wrong at the office. You want to be cautious with that one and takeit slowly if it does develop at all. Heck, just consider what would happen if it became obvious that you merely liked him and he rejected you.
No, no and again, NO! Why would you want to have sex with a guy who only wanted to use your body as a sperm receptacle? Why would you have sex with him knowing that?
Emailing him will only serve to tell him that you're desperate and without self respect and you'll continue to be treated accordingly, too. Do you really want to send that message? And of course, since he's an opportunist and not emotionally involved, he'll likely welcome a "taste of his own medicine" again!
THINK about this.
Edited 3/7/2005 4:41 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001