just curious...guys?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
just curious...guys?
5
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 7:57pm

From a guy's perspective, what do you find more attractive a woman who is open sexually; meaning she knows what she wants when she wants it so she may sleep you early on just because she wants to or a woman who will make you wait? I've done both and am just curious which is sexier to a man?

Also in reference to the rough sex topic...do you find it a turn on when a woman can talk dirty? ask for what she wants in bed? asks you to be rougher with her? I don't mean the hard core stuff...hair pulling, spanking, maybe some light bondage? is that sexy to men?

I'm like this and most of my ex's have said that I am sexy as he*l even if they don't like me anymore...I just started a strictly sexual relationship with a guy and he seemed pretty surprised by my sexual attitude. He seemed to like it but I am wondering what is the general opinion is? Ladies? what do you think? are you pretty sexually confident?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 8:59pm

It all depends on the guy.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 12:04am

There is no one thing that "men" (all men) like, anymore than anything that "women" (all women) like.

Some men would probably be turned on by a sexually confident and agressive woman, and others turned off by it. Some men like "dirty talk", and others might be disgusted by it. The trick is to find a man that likes the way that you are. You're certainly not going to change your behavior to please any man!

I don't think there's anything "sexy" about whether or not a woman makes a man wait. That's a matter of respect, not sexiness. If she says no, he may respect her for it, particularly if he's interested in the whole package, as opposed to just sex. Some men think nothing bad of a woman who has sex on the first date.....and others might think she's cheap and easy.

The important thing is to know the man, and know how he feels about intimacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 12:34am
I understand it is a matter of individual preference. I was just curious because in my last relationship we waited a couple months before having sex which my ex actually did think was totally sexy...he said he liked that we were waiting, it turned him on. We were together for a year. In this relationship, it was obvious from the night I met him that it would never be anything but a sexual one. But we still waited for almost 3 weeks to actually do the deed. And with the new guy, the sex was more like raw sex, purely physical no emotion. With my ex it awesome, we made love but it was intense. So, it got me thinking about the differences and I was just curious to see what other people thought, that's all. I would expect this current "relationship" to end fairly quickly...I'm actually pretty bored with the whole shallowness of it all. What I also find kind of interesting...ex is average looking, little overweight and an incredible!!! lover. New guy is HOT but the sex was good, not mind blowing...his oral skills needed a lot of direction...but it is what it is. Anyway, thanks for the input.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 1:16am

Generally, I think most women become more sexually confident as they age, but not always. A lot depends on your general attitude about sex and individual expectations.

I just don't believe in playing games with a partner. IF you want sex early on and feel comfortable enough with a partner, then go for it. I don't think holding out because of what he may or may not think otherwise is starting off on the right foot.

And I don't think one has to be kinky or wild to be uninhibited either. Everyone has their own preferences.

Some men find a woman who is willing to sleep with him on the first date, too indescriminate and some will just be happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 5:27am


Hi Bluize

I am from an different country and different culture so I am not sure whether my update will help you. But here is my experience.

Me and DW had sex only after marriage but we discussed sex before that.

During the first few months of our marriage, we were a bit shy and mostly we had missionary sex. I had some hot ideas but a bit hesitant as to how to present it to DW, doubts about how she would take it. But gradually we took one step at a time and our sex evolved and nowadays we have done (well at least tried all, some unsuccessful) everything in the book and out of it.

DW is so horny nowadays (actually more confident, but I prefer to imagine she is more horny) and can voice everything. Recently she has been suggesting some kinky stuff that even I find a little hesitant about. I know I will give in soon enough, truth be told, I am excited by it.

After the first years of our marriage she has always been the dominant partner, and I love it that way. So we found it exciting to wait for sex till after marriage (it would be frowned upon in our society still if it is not so) and when we got the "license" we started out shyly, but now there is no stopping the wild sexy animal in DW. I loved (and still do) every minute of it!