boring foreplay, great orgasms

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
boring foreplay, great orgasms
4
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 1:16am

Hi, a lurker here :)
Here is my "problem", which is not really a problem, i suppose :)

I've been with my BF for about half a year. We have a really good relationship, like each other and are very affectionate. We're also amazingly compatible sexually. BUT what it means is that even now, after six months of having sex he turns me on almost instantly, i get very wet, the intercourse is always incredible and i almost always orgasm just from penetration - something i haven't experienced with anybody else. Sometimes we switch positions but usually we just do the same thing - and it works perfectly!

But i also sort of miss foreplay, even though there's no "formal" reason to have it - since i guess i get wet from just looking at him or something :) And also it's not like we don't have it at all, we kiss and we have some manual stimulation going, and it feels amazing. (whoa, manual stimulation, yeah, that sounds sexy. JK :)

I just feel like it could be even better, but i'm so not good at talking about sex, especially at being the first to bring it up. He gets pretty self-concious fairly easily and i don't want that. Maybe he feels like he's found the "right" way to do it and he doesn't wanna take his chances with anything else.

Any suggestions? Tips on how to talk about this? Ideas on WHY this is happening at all? I mean, isn't that just a tiny bit strange? I mean, even really really good food that you love, love, love gets a little old after 6 months?..
thank you!
Apples

x-posted to "have hotter sex"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:11am

If you can "do it"......I don't understand why you can't talk about it!

Anyway, who says you have to talk? Why don't you just say....."whoa, let's try something different". And then proceed to give him some manual and oral stimulation.

I doubt very much if he's just staying with what works....I'll bet he either doesn't even KNOW about foreplay, or he doesn't like it, particularly oral. There are a lot of guys who can't or won't do it....so it's better for THEM to just go right for the intercourse.

If you don't want to say it, then just do it. Be prepared to get no reciprocation, though. That, you will probably have to ASK for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:19am

There's no *formal* reason to have it?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 6:17pm
I wouldn't worry too much about the "why is it happening this way"? As the ads say, just do it. You know what foreplay is, so just start doing it. Resist the temptation to jump on him, give him that BJ first, ask him to go down on you, kiss his body all over, massage his muscles, have that bubble bath, touch him all over and resist the temptation to jump on him, bring that vibrator out of the cupboard. My partner and I got to a point where we were very very similar to your situation - things changed when I decided to slow everything down and start talking little bit by little bit to her. After a while I went from single words to phrases to whole sentences, she got used to me talking, and now we can easily talk to one another during sex and we have awesome foreplay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 12:48am

no one has said it yet maybe they dont do this but I do so here goes...

There has been MANY MANY times when me and my partner NEVER make it to intercourse. We wear ourselves out on foreplay. Namely 69 till we've both had enough and cant take anymore! Best! BEST!

You know what I do when I'm being shy, dont know how or what to say?

Just Blurt it out!! Out of nowhere. Even when just sitting watching TV... I'll just tell him "Babe, I want you to Put Your Tongue... or "Babe Would you please Go Down on Me?" Likely iy will turn you on just saying it, and turn him on more just cause you said it. Being Spontanious is Spict, sexy and Never gets dull.