Missing Intimacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2005
Missing Intimacy
3
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 8:05pm
My boyfriend and I have have been together for a year and a half. I am 29 years old and he is 28. We are both still virgins as far as intercourse goes. Unbelieveable, huh? We fool around and do pleasure each other in different ways. We had discussions about the intercourse issue back in the beginning of our relationship. We had both wanted to wait until marriage. I have been satified until lately. In the beginning of our relationship, we fooled around several times a week, usually whenever we were together. Now, we are rarely intimate. It may be once or twice a month. Also, he's been more into pleasuring me and he pushes me away when I try to reciprocate. I know that he is under stress with the impending settlement date on the house that he is buying (no, we do not live together), but I am feeling neglected. I spoke to him about this situation today, but he claims that it's my fault since I've been moody. I tried to tell him that I've been moody since we haven't been intimate and when we are it barely lasts 30 minutes. I've tried different ways to suduce him, but he is always tired. I've told him that I feel like he doesn't want me. I've also changed my thinking on waiting until marriage for intercourse. He is aware of this, but says that he is not ready yet. I respect that. Any suggestions on how to bring back some intimacy into our relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 8:36pm

Hi traci3776:

My wife (Gail) thought I should be more touching; touching would lead to more sexual events. While walking in the mall, she wanted me to hold her hand or arm. Also, she would put her arm around my waist. At home, she asked for more foot and leg massages after work. Eventually, I got used to touching her more. Also, she likes to sensually massage me as we watch the t.v....Mac

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 11:35am
I just stumbled across this board today and have never posted before, but the title of your post caught my eye and I feel that I have to respond.

Mary
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 3:20pm

There could be all kinds of reasons why he's not into sex at the moment. IF he's unwilling to discuss the reason(s)right now, then back off and give him some space for the time being. No, not easy but fighting about it doesn't help either.

Take care of your own sexual needs so that you don't become too frustrated, and then discuss it again when he's receptive and you're getting along better.

IF things don't change soon, then you may need to rethink this relationship because any problems you have now, you will take into the marriage, unless you deal with them.