Is it me...or him

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Is it me...or him
7
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 12:33am
I have been dating a guy for about five months.At first our sex life was great...on the same level. The last two months when i innitiate sex he's "tired" "not in the mood" or "dont feel like it" When he initiates i dont have a problem(I have a high sex drive)He says its not me and otherwise he's a very caring and affectionate man. Im confused as to why he's never interested when i am anymore!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 1:51am

Well, did you tell him that you're beginning to feel neglected when he says he's too tired all the time? One partner should NEVER have total veto power when it comes to sex.

But it's not fair to assume that either of you will always want the same amount of sex as you do in the "honeymoon period" of your relationship though. Hormones dictate much of that in the beginning.

But it sounds like his real libido is beginning to emerge, and now you will need to negotiate for what you need when it comes to frequency. Sorry, but that's the case within any relationship since people rarely have the same drive.

5 months together isn't very long and maybe something else IS bothering him but that's where good communication and a willingness to compromise on BOTH your parts has to come into play. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 12:21pm
i agree good communication is the key but i've mentioned being neglected and he tells me if hes not doing it for me maybe i should find somebody who can. Also the hard part...he's my neighbor across the street.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 12:48pm

if he is telling you to "find someone else who can" there is something up and you need to address it quickly. Sounds to me like the relationship isnt very important to him. No Man who is truly interested in keeping a relationship together tells their partner to find sex elsewhere.

My Husband has a low libido compared to mine... but he has never told me to find satisfaction elsewhere.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 2:22pm
Maybe he's had a change of heart about your relationship. Maybe he's beginning to feel that sex is TOO important to you. I don't know too many men in love who would tell their partner to find someone else to fulfill their needs! I think you need to have a heart to heart to get to the bottom of this sudden attitude change. Maybe familiarity hasn't made the heart grow fonder in his case.


Edited 9/12/2005 2:24 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:35pm
If someone told me to find someone who would suit me better, I would!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:51pm
tee hee
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:33pm
Thats probably a good idea