What do guys like to hear in bed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
What do guys like to hear in bed?
7
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 4:19pm
My DH talks dirty to me and says sexy things during foreplay and in bed and I like it. I would like to be able to do the same but I feel like I sound silly saying those things. I don't really know what to say anyway. Like when he says he wants to f*ck me...what would be a good response to that? What other things should I say?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 4:48pm
oh I curse like a sailor in bed - tends to get things really hot when I do. When he says things like that you shouldnt feel uncomfortable to respond in the same way. Many times I'll make demands on how I want it - I use the F word alot when giving these instructions. It just lets him know I'm really enjoying it and gets things even hotter. He loves it when I talk dirty even when he is being quiet. Whatever comes to mind I blurt out, dont worry if it sounds silly to you, to him it'll probably sounds sexy and hot.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 4:57pm
Why do you have to SAY anything though? If talking dirty doesn't come naturally to you, then what's wrong with oohhhs/aahs and moans and groans instead? Works for me. As long as you respond SOME way, that's all that matters. My DH and I have never talked dirty to one another in bed for some reason. That usually happens LONG before we ever get to bed! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 5:33pm

A good response to that? Well, "Yeah, f*** me hard" would be a good response! You're right though, a lot of this stuff DOES sound corney but that's kinda the point - a lot of it is often just short phrases that convey feelings and meaning rather than having to be any great works of the english language. In other words, it's allowed to be corney.

Part of the problem is that you are still thinking about it, rather than just blurting it out. Try practicing when you're not having sex. Choose a phrase (like the one above for example) and say it quietly to yourself 50 times in 10 different ways. After a while it won't feel so funny coming out of your mouth.

Another thing that might help. Try talking during sex but before things get really hot. You know, talking about what you'd like to do in bed, or do to him, ideas, suggestions, communication! That'll make it easier to talk dirty when it gets hot and the added bonus is that your sex life will improve because you're communicating in the bedroom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 6:36pm
Things that might sound corny in non-sexual situations can be very arousing while making love. Our minds and bodies are in a different place and react differently. I doubt any of us want someone to spit in our mouth, for instance, and yet we eagerly exchange saliva during a soulful kiss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 9:41pm
I wish my DW would tell me to "F--k me hard" ! That is so hot. She's never said the F word. At least not in my 11 years with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:14am

I could have several answers to: <<>>. . ."So how would you F*ckme?"; "Yeah, well I want to be f**ked by you" "really bad!"; "Let me lean over!"; "Wait a minute" (then you leave the bedroom and reappear naked and say) "ready"!.

As a another poster said, relax and just go with first instinct. We sex play over the phone quite a bit and it doesn't matter what the other is doing(ie; at work or shopping). In fact, I love to call him when I know he's surrounded by people and give beautiful, detailed specifics, just hear how much he will try to ignore me, or in best case, try to respond using normal words with a twisted tone. Maybe something like that could help you for the "in-person" phrases. Either way don't worry too much about it if you can never get sexually verbal with him face to face. My guy does wonderful over the phone (i have three messages saved in voicebox for when I "need" to hear it!) yet, he's usually Mr. Verbally Shy face to face.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 10:18am

Does it sound "silly" when he says these things? Of course not. So what makes you think it would sound "silly" coming from you? You can just agree with whatever he says.....He says "I want to....." and you can say, "Yes, I want you to........" Again, if it didn't sound silly coming from him, it's not going to sound silly coming from you.

But the bottom line is that you shouldn't do or say anything that you're not comfortable with. That kind of talk comes easier to most men than it does to most women. He may or may not care whether or not you respond in kind. If it feels strange to you, then don't do it. You're there to enjoy, not put on a performance!

Check out www.sexuality.org At one time there was a section on "phone sex" which is essentially talking "dirty". There were exercises that you could do.....to help you feel more comfortable with it. Hopefully, it's still there.