To condom, or not to condom
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| Sun, 09-18-2005 - 9:40pm |
That is the question.
Okay, so I have been intimate with a guy for several months. I'm still an (intercourse) virgin, but I'm ready for it (no nerves, fears, trust him totally and wouldn't have any regrets). I think it will happen the next time I see him. I got on birth control about a month ago (nuva ring), just to be on the safe side, and so I'd be ready when the time actually comes. I insisted that he be tested for std's (as I'm not his first partner) and that came back clear.
So I come to my question. Condom or not? Emotionally I would definitely like it without. I know all the statistics and science behind all forms of birth control, but for some reason I'm still a little paranoid about getting pregnant (I taught an abstinince program in high school, prehaps this is where it comes from). Even with the ring and condoms I'd still have tiny fears about that. Yes, kids are what I want more than anything in the world, but I'm just not ready for it yet. And I know that I'm always going to have this little paranoia about it no matter how old I am. One percent, or even a tenth of a percent, is still a percentage!
I dunno. This definitely isn't going to stop me from having sex, I'm just wondering whether I should insist on using a condom or not.
Any opinions on this one?

One choice is to wait until one of your least fertile times of the month and have your first time be without a condom (i.e. during or right after your period). Just playing the percentages. I'm skipping all of the emotional/trust/relationship issues, but it seems like you have a grasp on those.
However, I would say, if you are totally comfortable with eachother, do oral, etc. without a condom and sex with a condom. It really sucks to have sex with a condom after being without. Kind of like eating great food without any spices. But that is just one man's opinion.
It can be tricky with hormone related BC such as the NuvaRing though. Since you don't ovulate, you don't have more fertile or less fertile times. It's all the same.
To the OP - bottom line is, if you're that worried, use a condom. The NuvaRing is 98-99% effective, used correctly. But if you think fear of pregnancy is going to make you too nervous to enjoy it, he should understand and use a condom. Personally - and this is just for me - all the years I was on the Pill, we never used anything else.
If you are going to be paranoid about pregnancy, I would say go with a condom and your BC.