Is This Too Forward for a Woman

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005
Is This Too Forward for a Woman
5
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 7:32pm

Hi All

Ok, long story short. I had been in a FWB relationship for 6 months. He's ex-girlfriend (they have kids) has now decided she wants him back and they are going to try and work on things. They've tried a few times already and it hasn't worked.

He has said that he wants to stay friends with me.

In the last 2 weeks I have noticed that he has put himself on an Adult Sex site, where you meet people just to have sex. I don't think he has contacted anyone yet, and I can see on what days he visits the site. He doesn't know I know.

Anyway, basically I want to know if it would be too forward of me, if he contacts me again, to ask him if he is interested in a bit of fun on the side, if he wants it.

I am totally OK with this, as the sex was always really really good, and I guess I have needs and desires to.

Thanks, all inputs are welcome, especially those from any guys out there

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 10:09pm
As a female, I would have a ball putting an alias on the same web-site he's on and contacting him. Describing fantasies never discussed before and getting his rawest info would be a total turn on for me. Then when you're ready, somehow let it slip (maybe insert your name into a request for a threesome?) and see where it goes. Sexual word play can be just as fun as the act itself! Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 10:21pm

I can see this getting messy - or nasty - or both. I think that it sounds like fun, but at the same time it's not helping his girlfriend, his kids, or the relationship, it's not helping you (other than the quick physical release), and it's not helping him. I think that I'd leave him alone and let him try to sort out his relationship one way or another.

I don't think that it's too forward to ask, nothing wrong with a woman asking for what she wants, but I don't think that it's the smartest thing to do either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 12:11am

To answer your question.....is it too forward for YOU? It might be for some women, and might not be for others. It doesn't matter how other women feel, if you want to do it, then do it. It sure doesn't sound like ANYTHING would bother him.....let alone seem forward to him.

My question to you is......This is a guy who had you for sex, now he's looking for sex on the computer, AND he's trying to get back with the mother of his children! He's a real winner, and I feel sorry for her and those kids! Now you want to offer him "sex on the side"? When will he have time for that? Why would you want a scumbag like this? If he's venturing into sex with strangers, he'll probably wind up with a disease....is that what you want for yourself? If you have desires, then find a decent guy to fulfill them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 10:11am

Hi

Thanks to you and everyone who replied to my post, I think I've just needed confirmation of something that I knew all along. I had the weekend to think about it and of course I don't want to help a man cheat on his girlfriend or his kids, whom I adore. And I deserve a whole lot more than messing around with a man like that.

I think he just totally charmed me and I couldn't see the wood for the trees !!!

I've decided I'm not going to obsess over him anymore and try and get back to the life I had before I met him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 1:35am
Foxy,
You made the right decision. If you are looking for a man to have sex with, good sex, there are thousands of singles that are more than willing to help you out. The BF attached to the woman and his kids just makes for a mess. You can find someone single to please you and you may even enjoy it.