Your Fantasies and realities??
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-24-2005 - 7:55pm |
Hey ladies and Gents!! Just a post to drum up some conversation and get some interesting conversations going.
Really the topic is How do Your fantasies compare with your reality when it comes to your love and sex life?
What Kind of fantasies do you have? Are they things You feel comfortable sharing with your partner or Only some of them? How Many of these fantasies have you been able to work into you and your partners sexual relationship?
Do you feel your fantasies would be healthy for your relationship should you choose to act them out or do you feel that they should remain strictly fantasies?
When You masturbate to you fantasize about other People or Your Partner or maybe nothing at all except your own pleasure.
How do you feel about the fantasies your partner has shared with you? Do they excite you or do they make you uncomfortable? Does your partner share them with you? Do You ever fear your partner might act opon a fantasy that doesnt include you or that you are uncomfortable with?
There is a WORLD of other questions but there is plenty listed.
Share your thoughts please!

>>How do Your fantasies compare with your reality when it comes to your love and sex life?<<
Pretty close in most respects. Call me boring if you like ;-)
>>What Kind of fantasies do you have?<<
Nothing outrageous. I know that we both share a fantasy about having a MFF threesome. I sometimes think about a MMF threesome, but my day-to-day fantasies usually revolve around someone other than my partner, an exotic situation or location, or visualising specific sex acts in detail. Sometimes I like the idea of light bondage - that'd be restraint with a soft rope rather than real bondage. Sorry, but no fantasies about swinging from the chandalier or whips and chains.
>>Are they things You feel comfortable sharing with your partner or Only some of them?<<
There isn't really anything risque that I haven't shared or touched on at some time with her. I guess that if I had a deep dark fantasy that I would be hesistant to share it, but mine are pretty run-of-the-mill stuff so it's been no real problem sharing.
>>How Many of these fantasies have you been able to work into you and your partners sexual relationship?<<
As mentioned, we've shared the threesome fantasy and found that we had that in common but we've never acted on it, some of the others we've shared. I suppose using sex toys was one fantasy I had when we didn't have any toys - but now we have a little collection. I really like expensive lingerie and stockings (not for me, on her!) and she occasionally indulges me by getting dressed up.
>>Do you feel your fantasies would be healthy for your relationship should you choose to act them out or do you feel that they should remain strictly fantasies?<<
I'm confident that most of ours are harmless. The threesome one is something that we've agonised over recently. By all accounts it can and has ruined many a good relationship, but at the same time I think that we are being realisitic about it and if it ever happened, we would be as prepared for it as we could be. I think sharing it and discussing it has benefitted our relationship even if the reality is something completely different.
>>When You masturbate to you fantasize about other People or Your Partner or maybe nothing at all except your own pleasure.<<
I suppose that it would be 50/50 my partner and other women. Sometimes its this weird blend of both. Often when I use porn I'm relating the sex act that I'm seeing to what me and my partner do, and I'm thinking about her doing it even though it's obviously not her on the screen.
Most of the time when I'm watching the porn it's the actual act that I'm concentrating on - althought there may be attractive women involved, I'm not forming an emotional connection with them, they are basicaly just there while the act is the main entertainment. Kinda like the supporting cast in a play - there are lots of actors on stage but you're watching the main characters perform, not the ones standing around in the background.
>>How do you feel about the fantasies your partner has shared with you?<<
Generally speaking, I'm OK with what few fantasises she's shared; the threesome thing is more her idea than mine and as we've explored the issue I would have to say that I have more reservations about it than she does.
>>Do You ever fear your partner might act opon a fantasy that doesnt include you or that you are uncomfortable with?<<
Not really. I've had to think about that and I'm 99.9% comfortable with the idea that she would include me in anything sexual that she got herself involved in, and she would only do it if I was comfortable with it. The 0.01% is just normal doubt creeping in and nothing that I'm worried about.
It's hard to say how the fantasy compares to the reality, because the things I sometimes fantasize about aren't things I would do IRL. And I'm pretty sure the reality wouldn't be nearly as good. In my fantasies, everything goes smoothly and just the way I want it to!
I know Dh has fantasies about FFM sex (typical guy). Again, it's something that will have to remain a fantasy for him. I'm ok with knowing about it (he's allowed to dream!), it doesn't make me uncomfortable knowing. Sometimes he'll joke about it and I just laugh. And I'm sure he's had fantasies about women we know, or actresses or singers. I don't ask about those and he doesn't tell. While I'm ok with knowing that theoretically, he may think about my sister or my friend or a woman at work, or all three at the same time, I don't really want to know *who* and *how*, so I don't ask.
When I fantasize during, I often think about a scene in an adult movie that maybe turned me on, but putting myself in the woman's spot. Or I just replay the scene in my head, like a voyeur. Sometimes I picture DH in the man's spot, but if I don't, I don't think about any specific man, I don't give him a true identity. I don't think I've ever fantasized about anyone I know IRL, or a famous person or anything like that. Dh knows I sometimes think about the movie scenes.
My fantasies are just about the same as my real sex life.
well I started it I better answer it! LOL
>>What Kind of fantasies do you have? Are they things You feel comfortable sharing with your partner or Only some of them?<<
Most of my fantasys have to do with things I would like to do with my partner. I guess I'm a bit sick or twisted in that sometimes I fantasize about my DH "taking advantage" of me. the idea of him wanting me so bad he cant help himself really makes me horny. And sometimes during sex (esspecially oral) I'll squeeze my legs together so that he has to physically force them apart and Boy does that ever make me Hot.
I do have a few fantasies that I will not share with my husband, Because they would likely make him angry and/or hurt him. Some of my fantasys, although I'd never act them out, Revolve around a guy we see every week for softball games and sometimes have drinks with as a group. I'm very attracted to the guy. Sometimes after ball games I find myself imagining sex with him.
>>How do you feel about the fantasies your partner has shared with you? Do they excite you or do they make you uncomfortable? Does your partner share them with you? Do You ever fear your partner might act opon a fantasy that doesnt include you or that you are uncomfortable with?<<
My Husband has shared fantasys with me about things he wants me to do or do to him, or maybe a place or scenario. We've talked on many occassion about his fantsies and I've asked him numerous times about MFF fantasy - His responce has always been "Been there done that, I didnt enjoy it, too stressful and too much pressure to perform" So I'm fairly confident he doesnt fantasize much about that if at all, he had a bad experience with it when he was younger and he no longer finds it very appealing.
As far as Masturbation goes, I thjink about alot of thinks, it really depends on my mood. Could Be I'm thinking about dinner, Or I'm thinking about Myself, or maybe My Husband or A Mystery Man.
I've never caught my husband masturbating and I'm really quite convinced that if he does it at all it must be at work or very very infrequently. We are pretty open about masturbation, he knows I do it and knows how much. What I do know about my husband and masturbation - He claims that whenever he has mastrubated in the past he has always needed visual stimulation. We dont keep any sort of Porn material around the house so Its likely more trouble than its worth for him.
Cant say anything for certain about my hubbys brain. He's pretty grounded in reality so sometimes its hard for me to get an idea of what his brain is doing.
Really the topic is How do Your fantasies compare with your reality when it comes to your love and sex life?
Oh, fantasies are always more colorful than reality, but then that's why they are fantasies.
What Kind of fantasies do you have? Are they things You feel comfortable sharing with your partner or Only some of them? How Many of these fantasies have you been able to work into you and your partners sexual relationship?
Fantasies can be across the board from simple daydreams about exploring sexuality with an attractive man or woman, to really perverted things that don't bear writing about. I do find that fantasies are the place where I develop a desire to try something -- and sometimes the opportunity arises to act on the impulse.
Do you feel your fantasies would be healthy for your relationship should you choose to act them out or do you feel that they should remain strictly fantasies?
Some of my fantasies are best kept as fantasies!
When You masturbate to you fantasize about other People or Your Partner or maybe nothing at all except your own pleasure.
My pleasuring fantasies are all over the place, but they usually focus on scenarios that result in me having sex with someone or people who I have the hots for.
How do you feel about the fantasies your partner has shared with you? Do they excite you or do they make you uncomfortable? Does your partner share them with you? Do You ever fear your partner might act opon a fantasy that doesnt include you or that you are uncomfortable with?
I have had partners whose fantasies have made me uncomfortable, but as I don't have a regular partner this is an academic question.
Elaine