"modesty" around friends, couples
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"modesty" around friends, couples
| Wed, 10-12-2005 - 3:52pm |
What are you or you and your guy like around friends
when it comes to nudity or "PDA" (not really public
if you're just with friends)?
I don't mean like swinging or sharing (not my thing
at all) but like if you were hanging out somewhere
private with another couple, like a private pool
in the summer or in front of a warm fire someplace
in the winter.
1) What do you usually find yourself wearing or not wearing?
2) What would you be comfortable wearing or not wearing?
3) What usually goes on with you and your guy? Kissing? Feeling?
Full-on action?
4) What would be comfortable with others seeing or seeing others do?
5) What do you think are people's typical expectations/comfort level?

1) What do you usually find yourself wearing or not wearing?
I can answer all of these questions with one answer. My DH and I do not share our intimate time with friends, family or strangers. That belongs to us alone. And that includes our nude or semi-nude bodies. And we don't feel comfortable witnessing any of those things either. It's NOT sexy to see, it's just uncomfortable.
And from what I gather from our friends and family, they don't want to be there for that kind of intimate action between couples either.
Edited 10/12/2005 5:30 pm ET by katmandoo2001
I would feel more or less comfortable with some things depending on which friends we were with, but I will answer this as if we're with the most comfortable set of friends and together. I know that levels of modesty vary if for example it was the girls alone in a changing rooms or health spa.
For example, I've been with friends in a backpackers in Rome where the bunkroom had a shower stall in one corner (yep, just sitting there in the middle of the room) and we took turns at showering while the others adverted their eyes at key moments. I know that I saw more of my friends then than I've ever seen before but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that at home though.
1) What do you usually find yourself wearing or not wearing?
Normal clothes depending on the situation. If caught out at home (eg if they visited unexpectedly) I suppose that a dressing gown or full pyjamas would be about as risque as we'd get. If it was the beach, beach wear.
2) What would you be comfortable wearing or not wearing?
We don't show anything more than the normal amount of skin.
3) What usually goes on with you and your guy? Kissing? Feeling?
Full-on action?
While friends are there? Maybe a sneaky feel that they can't see. At most a kiss and a cuddle in front of them.
4) What would be comfortable with others seeing or seeing others do?
It depends. Under normal circumstances we'd get uncomfortable if they started making out. I suppose if it was some weird or drunken situation where it became clear that they wanted us to see them having sex then I think that the two of us could watch that happen. I think that curiosity would outweigh discomfort. I doubt that we'd be doing anything in front of them though.
5) What do you think are people's typical expectations/comfort level?
It really depends on what your friends are happy to see and feel comfortable with. I think that under normal circumstances that most people do not want to see anything more than a cuddle and a few kisses. Making out or too much flesh or wandering hands is impolite in most situations.
Edited 10/12/2005 5:48 pm ET by westridge2001
Edited 10/12/2005 5:52 pm ET by westridge2001
I am a real prude when me and my guy are around friends. I act like I've never kissed him lol. The way I figure it, it's OK to be nude around your friends, and it's ok to be nude around your bf, but NEVER in front of both at the same time!!!!
On the other hand, my roommate, who is a really cool beautiful woman (a professional ballerina in fact), has no problem whatsoever being nude around her bfs and me simultaneously. It has long since stopped bothering me. She just has a different view of nudity altogher. She doesn't have, e.g., the slightest hesitation to go sunathing nude on our terrace when both one of her bfs and me are around. (I say "one of" because she's a bit of a heartbreaker; you would not believe the number of different hunky, cool guys she has over). Many times she will pee without shutting the door, with or w/o a man around. I think it's a Euro thing. Hey, it's her place, so I'm not about to start telling how to behave.
I can't answer the questions individually because there are too many different scenarios.
My general rule of thumb regarding dress is "when in Rome". Here in Australia, being topless is generally acceptable on the beach, so I'll happily go without my top. (Assuming that my kids aren't with me because then I'd be running after them). If it's a 'family' beach, then I'll stay dressed. All of my friends would stay dressed at a BBQ or pool party so I'd follow suit.
PDAs....I'm not into them. When my DH and I go out to socialise, we socialise. We save the sex for home.
It depends on the friends. We have some friends we camp, swim and travel with pretty regularly, and we're comfortable enough that occasional or fleeting nudity is no big deal. We've
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