Ladies, Need Help/Opinion; How Long?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
Ladies, Need Help/Opinion; How Long?
4
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 1:47am

I know 'shades' of this have been asked/discussed but it's never the specific detail I'm interested in. How long do you and yours actually have penetration during an average 'go'?

I always see this mentioned as 'how long do you have sex' which is so many different things to so many different people I don't feel it's very relevant or accurate to the specific question I wonder about.

While I have had times where stamina seemed an issue as all honest guys have that's not exactly why I ask. I wonder about it 'from the other side of the bed' really. I've had times where for me also I've become aware of it negatively in feeling the opposite. When I'm not as into it or whatever is clouding up my head and such... I wonder if my partner is thinking "man he's going to just be 'hammering away' at me forever I guess?" (pardon the term there) or if it's more along the lines of "That's more like it". It gets in my head because I don't have anything to compare with really I guess.

I know that "it's not all about that" etc. believe me; I've been sexually active for coming up on a few decades and I've had my share of substantial satisfying and sustained sexual relationships (wow, dig that alliteration!). This really honestly is not my way of asking another question or advice of how to satisfy someone or if I'm doing something wrong etc. It's more of a poll almost that I hoped some of the ladies could help me out with. It's one of those things people will try to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of the actual truth. I was hoping this might be a good way to get close to an actual answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 2:31am

It's a very interesting question, and I don't remember ever seeing it asked in this way. There are plenty of posts about it being over too quickly, and there have been some who complain that it goes on forever, never ending!

How "long" is really hard to say.......I've never timed it, lol (in the same way that I never carry a measuring tape!) For me, it's varied with different partners, and at different times. In an interesting relationship, where there are LOTS of things going on before and after intercourse there have been times that we never even GOT to that.

I think it also depends on what the man likes.....I think most men enjoy intercourse more than most women. Not saying that women don't like it, but since most women don't have orgasms from it, as long as they're taken care of first, they aren't concerned with how long it lasts. In my case, as long as I've had several orgasms before intercourse, it doesn't matter to me if it's over quickly, or takes a little longer. The women who complain that it doesn't last long enough are usually not given enough foreplay, and haven't had an orgasm, then they get frustrated if it's over in two minutes, and they're left hanging.

I think that most women will get sore if it lasts TOO long, but that shouldn't happen unless the guy has some kind of problem. I guess there's no real answer to your question....and I understand that you feel that you usually don't get an honest answer if you ask someone specifically if it lasted long enough. It would have to be a really unfeeling or cruel woman who would tell you it didn't "satisfy" her, particularly if he's a guy that's got a complex about it.

The best situation would be if two people could discuss sex honestly, and she could tell you exactly what she enjoys. But again, it changes from time to time. Sometimes I'd like a longer time, other times, I really don't care. I can tell you one thing, though, MOST women don't like to be questioned about that sort of thing, at least not every time. There's nothing worse than being asked "was it good for you" every time you have sex. My ex husband did that to me.....and I got so sick of hearing that. I would hope that a man would KNOW if it was good for a woman without asking....at least if he knew her well, since some women are very vocal during sex, and some are quiet.

I think your best bet would be to ask what she likes first, then you won't have any doubts. And of course, hopefully she'll ask what YOU like, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 8:39am
I have a "short fuse" and am going to start working on it with my present GF.
But in all my 25 years of sexual activity, I'd say I and my respective partners actually have penetration an average of 1-2 minutes. I always make sure they have orgasms before hand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 9:05am
For Dh and I, it can last from 5 minutes to 15 minutes depending on the circumstances.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2001
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 4:57pm
For my wife and I "how long" all depends. During any session of intercourse, actual penitration can last between 2 min and 40 min. The short times occur when there has been lots of forplay and she is approaching orgasim when I penitrate her. She will orgasim imediatly as soon as my erection is fully in her. This causes me to go as well. The long times occur when I penitrate her first and there is no foreplay. Then we build up sexual tension while I am erect inside her. That can take between 15 and 40 min. It just depends on what we want to do.