First time "any advice?
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| Fri, 10-28-2005 - 11:04pm |
Ok! So, I'm 18, and yes, still a virgin. It's not because I haven't had opportunities, or offers, but because I just hadn't met the guy I'd want to lose it to. Well.. this past summer I met an amazing guy, and I'm completely in love with him! He already told me he's ready for this (big surprise-lol) and now I'm ready as well. We love each other and I plan on losing it to him, but not until March of next year... see, he's deployed in Iraq right now, so when he comes home in March, that's when we're planning all this for! So, I was wondering if anyone has any advice at all for me. Considering that I'm a virgin still, is there anything I should expect (he's not a virgin) he's been with two girls in his past, but that's been a while back. He has experience, and I do not. He knows that I'm still a virgin, so we've talked about all this.. but I just want my first time to go as smoothly as possible. I want everything to be "as perfect as your first time can be!" So, if anyone has any advice, anything I can do to plan for this (I sound like I'm on a mission to the moon!) I would appreciate any feedback at all!
Thanks so much~
Ashley

Don't be apologetic for being a virgin at 18.....there are no age limits on virginity. There are lots that are older than you, for sure.
You have a long time to prepare, but beyond knowing your own body, and understanding how it works, the only other thing you have to think about is protection from pregnancy and STD's. You've got lots of time to figure out what kind of birth control you want to use, and talk to your doctor about getting started on it.
Don't worry about his "experience" because every woman is different, and needs and wants different things. No matter how much experience he's had, he will still have to learn what YOUR needs are. Experience doesn't equal knowledge anyway. Just having sex with someone doesn't make a man a good lover, he needs to know the difference between what men need and want, and what women need and want.
Check out the information at www.the-clitoris.com and learn about your body. Experiment, and figure out what feels good to you, then you can show him. Intercourse is just one part of the sexual experience, and taking time for foreplay, arousal and lubrication is probably more important than intercourse.
Don't plan for, or expect "perfection".....that rarely happens the first several times simply because you'll both be nervous and awkward. Just try to relax and enjoy the experience. Get yourself covered on the b/c issue, and just be happy that he'll be home, and you'll be able to spend time together again. The sex will take care of itself if you educate yourself and know what to expect. It will get better and better as time goes by, and as you each get to know the other's "hot spots". Just like anything else that's worth doing, it takes practice to make it perfect.
Have some lubricant on hand, too. Nervousness makes for dryness, and if you're dry, it won't be fun.....it'll be painful. Everyone has a "first time" and we all get thru it just fine!
Thanks so much.. that really helped alot. You gave me some good advice.. and you're right.. I do have a little while to plan. Im not ashamed at all to be a virgin.. I'm very proud to have kept my virginity~ besides, having sex just puts me at risk for everything including pregnancy, regardless of any birth control, or protection. If anyone else has anything to add- feel free... I would love to read anyone's opinion!
I can't wait till March, primarily, because he's coming home... I can stop worrying, and know that he's safe.. in my arms!!! And, because I'll get to see him, and just be in his arms again.. I miss that the most!!! I love him so much.. so this will just make our relationship so much better~ at least I think so! I know that's not always the case.. but in my case~ I think so!! :D
Ashley
Congrats on having such a prince in your life right now. I am excited to hear that you plan on doing this out of TRUE LOVE as opposed to just curiosity or looking for a good time or something. VERY good for you! :)
Great advice from dakine, and hopefully much more headed your way on this topic. YES, study the guide on that clitoris site well, and penis health sites out there may not be a bad idea to study as well...reported as etremely helpful for many women out there.
Perfection is NOT to be the goal, remember that. Mrs. Para & I don't worry one bit about perfection, we simply enjoy enjoy enjoy each other and enjoy learning from the imperfections as well. Please remember these things.
Your first time is not the issue, your first time with him and HIS first time with YOU is the issue. His experience in the past does not necessarily mean he is automatically the master of this encounter with you, should you two still decide to do so in March of course. So talk with him...let me repeat that...TALK WITH about anything that makes you nervous or that you have questions about, even things about his own body as well. Enjoy learning about him and each other physically. Open up to him before you , catch my drift? There is no goal here. No perfect orgasm or perfect experience, nor do you need the most perfect romantic setting, lol. Just be yourself (yourselves) and enjoy getting started on a new level in your relationship. ENJOY working on what you've learned about each other thereafter.
Sex for me & Mrs. Para isn't a one-time/first-time event, its an ongoing extension of how we feel about each other. Hope the other replies continue to help you, and congrats again. :)
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