Unable to keep erection

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Unable to keep erection
12
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 6:44pm
I am 22 years old and lost my virginity recently(yes pathetic), however I wasnt able to maintain an erection for very long periods of time and i did not finish. At first I was unable to find the hole and put it in! This was extremely embarassing. I had some liquor before this, however I wasnt that drunk, just a strong buzz. I had a little bit of marijuana earlier in the day. Would that be enough to prevent me from having an erection, or maybe my nervousness. There was only a bit of foreplay so maybe that? Please help, if i get another chance i dont want to humiliate myself once again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 11:37pm

Everyone is nervous the first time.....and it's unfortunate your partner didn't help you out a little, she could have steered you in the right direction.

Secondly, you were drinking, and alcohol is a depressant, not great for erections.

Last, but certainly not least, pot is another erection killer for some guys.

Next time, take more time for foreplay, for both of you, but for you to explore with your hands and mouth, to find the right place. Stay sober, and stay off the pot. It gets better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:52am

Why do you say you're pathetic just because you're 22 and didn't have


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 6:10pm
Excellent. Thank you guys. The thing about the alcohol was I wasnt that messed up of it, but the three working against me maybe did it. I think she could have helped more, but I think she assumed I had experience in this regard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 7:40pm

With alcohol, not all guys have to be messed up from it, meaning drunk or way too much alcohol).


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 12:48am
You were probably nervous. Especially if you weren't finding the right hole!! :) Just relax, I'm sure you'll do fine last time. Worrying is a sure fire way to stop an erection.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 5:32pm
First off, losing your virginity at age 22 is fine. There is nothing wrong with that. My husband and I only had each other and he was a virgin until he was 26 and me 23. Anyways, I think your problem is all about nervousness. You need to relax and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. If you relax and feel comfortable, than it will work. Don't rush things like forplay etc. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 2:18am

Well unfortunately this crap happened to me again. We can rule out the alcohol since I only had one beer. This leads me to believe I have some anxiety issues. While I am making out with her and fingering her I can maintain the erection quite fine but when it comes to penetration I have a hard time getting it in(she is very petite and I am inexperienced) and then I lose my erection. I was able to almost get there but then I stopped myself to last longer, big mistake cause it didn't come close again.

I cant imagine this is normal in the slightest, Ive always been a nervous person(definitely not an attractive quality but I can hide it decently) but I never imagined it would affect me this badly in bed. Despite all this I think I am getting better, and she seems to still care for me which surprises me. She was questioning whether it was a problem with her, which was also surprising since quite obviously its a problem with me lol.

Do you think I may have some sort disorder? What the hell is wrong with me? Do I need viagra? lol

This is definitely having a negative effect on my self esteem. Laughing is all I can do not to cry. It wouldn't be so bad if this happened to other guys, I would love to have premature ejaculation instead of this crap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 7:53am

Being nervous can make that happen.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:40am

ok please listen to me and believe me. this problem u r having is seriously not that big of a deal. you r making it wayyyy more a deal than it is. when my husband and i got married 3 months ago, we were both virgins and for 3 days on our honeymoon, we couldn't have sex cause he was really nervous and couldn't his it up. at 1st i didn't understand, but the best thing i did was support him and not to pressure him. after the 4th day we had sex, but it was a slow process, not b/c of his penis, but b/c i was tight cause i was a virgin etc.

there is nothing wrong with u and u don't need viagara!!! lol. does your girl understand? is she supportive? cause that is what is going to help u get through this. if u and her continue to be frustrated about this (if she is) and keep putting pressure on your member, he won't co-operate. Stop being so hard on yourself. don;t be in a hurry for it to happen cause it will happen in good time. just relax and enjoy yourself. a tip might be for you to lie down on the bed, have your girl sit on top of you and kiss and masterbate u with her hand, and when he is hard, have her try to put him in herself. that helped my husband when i put him in me.

let me know if i can help any further. p.s.- you WILL get through this ok?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 11:28am

THC has a very similar effect to viagra, that fun fact came from my Doctor who when I talked about those drugs, I mentioned that I use marijuana (Never keep anything from your doctor).

But using pot with Alcohol, that'll make anything in life worse....

 

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