Perlexed....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Perlexed....
11
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 11:51am

PERPLEXED!

Okay, here's the story.... I'm a happily married woman. I am very much in love with my husband. He's a wonderful father, friend, confidant, and lover. My problem lies in the fact that I tend to get bored with sex. I enjoy sex with him,(he is very attentive and giving) but I feel like there has to be more excitement.

I have had more sexual experiences than him and have experienced group sex and threesomes in the past. In the past year I have had sex with my best friend and her husband 3 times. I do not want to push my husband to do things he not comfortable with. We talk about threesomes, but when it comes down to it he get's very nervous and uncomfortable.

I'm afraid that the more I mess around with them the less I'll want to do it at home and eventually it will lead to a problem. But, I get so frustrated. I would never want him to feel inferior. I in no way blame him. I just think that I'm wired in a more sexual way than he is and I'm generally more adventurous.

So, do I just keep satisfying my desires and hope that I can include him some day or do I stop and just try to be grateful for what I have?




Edited 1/16/2007 11:56 am ET by pompiere

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: pompiere
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:04pm
I would be grateful for what I have, and OUTSIDE the bedroom, address these concerns and perhaps bring up the idea of including another person(s) in the sexual arena. If he says no, you have to honor that. You will never know though if you don't ask. I think an important rule to swinging/other partners is NOT IN THE BEDROOM. The bedroom should be off limits to that kind of activity and reserved as a special place for love making between you and your husband. Communication IS key here...and if you can't talk about sex with your spouse, what can you honestly talk to them about???
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
In reply to: pompiere
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:10pm

Im trying to get my DW to have a threesome with me and one of her good friends for my B-Day she is thinking about it how can I get her to let me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
In reply to: pompiere
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 2:43pm

Look, I know that it is almost every guy's fantasy to have 2 women. I also know that there are a lot of us women who would like to try it too just to see what it is like. But in all honesty, I wasn't comfortable with trying it until about a year and a half ago. It all came down to having a person who I trusted completely and knowing that if at any time I changed my mind it would stop.

Is she uncomfortable with the idea of you having sex with the other woman? If so, then make that off limits. You can all touch, taste, etc. but intercourse can only be with her, not the friend. When I first had a 3 some that was how it was. It was still fun.

I don't think that using it as a birthday present is a wise idea. It comes across to me almost like a guilt trip... "But honey, it's my birthday". Do you see what I mean?

Here I am giving you advice when I can't even get my hubby to do it. Geez!!!

I have discussed it with my husband "OUTSIDE" the bedroom. Maybe I need to come up with a different way to address it. I guess we just don't see things the same way. Maybe we'll find a happy medium someday.

Good luck to you and your DW

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
In reply to: pompiere
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 3:39pm

She is very comfortable with her its her best friend. If we do go through with it then its no holds bar. But what if the friend performs better then my DW. Any suggestions Also Im alot larger then her friends DH hes about 4 inch and Im 9 1/2 inch about 8 inch thick would that become a issue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:09am
long that isnt a penis, its a forearm...Sorry I couldnt resist..The length doesnt have to be an issue, you dont have to put it all in...But an 8" thick penis ,as you have to know, WILL be an issue for most every woman. Most women would have diffuculty with that circumference. I would also think the guy with 4" would totally be intimindated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:43am
8 inches thick???? You got a log or what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:44am
And I'm thinking ALL this is made up. Hoping to get stories of past experiences from the viewing audience...Palmala Handerson material, if ya know what I mean ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 11:00am
lol gal. Yeah 8" thick is almost unheard of.My wife had a bf in college who was a bonified 9" long, and ave girth...She didnt like the extra length, he wasnt careful and he hit bottom and hurt her enough that the sheer anticipation of of him slamming into her cervix ruined most every experience..She was young and not a great communicator.We do fit nicely together, at 7" Im not long enough to have to be careful about hitting bottom and at above ave girth, well she likes that....lol I have been with more shallow women and it does take a little bit away if one has to always be careful. I cant even imagine what really long guys go through with the ave. depth to shallow women. My wife and I both agree that when we go at it hot and heavy, its nice not to have that worry. Works for us
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 11:00am

I believe that Longandstrong means "circumference" when he says "thick". And and 8" circumference" translates to about a 3" diameter. Not exactly small, but he'll never make the Guiness book of records, either.

If it was an 8" diameter, then you're right, it would be like a block of wood 8"x9". And in reality, most women wouldn't have a difficult time with an 8" circumference, when you figure the size of a baby that will pass thru a vagina.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: pompiere
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 11:04am
No, you're right; it would just take Braxton-Hicks contractions, an entire tube of astroglide, 6 hours of lamaze breathing....lol take a danged day just to get ready for it. LOL

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