B/F won't stimulate me, HELP PLZ!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
B/F won't stimulate me, HELP PLZ!!!
4
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 2:17am

Hello everyone,

I am a 19 year old female, my b/f and I have been together for 6 years now. When we first started having sex, it was great, we had no problem stimulating each other. Now however, my b/f refuses to stimulate me to get me aroused and wet. He always appears to want to please me but then cant really follow through. I am usually always on top, which is fine with me. My b/f will just lye there and expect to be pleased. He won't caress me or touch me at all, it seems he just wants me to get on and please him. This situation prevents me from getting wet and he'll get a little frusterated. He'll say things such as just touching your vagina to my penis should get you wet, does anyone think this is true? I know for myself I like to be touched and kissed and well just in some way stimulated before sex, am I asking too much?, and if not how do I get my b/f to stimulate me?

Please help this has been going on for months and I now dread having to have sex and I find myself bored:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 2:40am

You were children when you got together, you knew nothing about sex, and you still don't. I think you know a little more than he does.....but not enough. He thinks that touching your vagina with his penis is all he needs to do? He's WAY wrong. Does he (or you) know what and where your clitoris is? THAT is what needs stimulation, and NOT with his penis....with his hands or mouth! He also has the idea that it's all about him, and it's not. He's either selfish, lazy, or ignorant, or all three.

Here's something you can both study to learn about female sexual response: www.the-clitoris.com He has LOTS to learn about women, and maybe you do too. Look at it together and discuss it with each other. There is lots more to sex than him sticking his penis in you and "getting off"!

If he isn't concerned about your pleasure, then of course, you're frustrated and bored. Talking to him doesn't seem to help, so maybe your relationship has run it's course. If you've never been with another man, then you have no idea what good sex is like, and maybe it's time for you to learn. If he's selfish this way, or won't listen to you, then the rest of your relationship is probably the same, with him calling the shots. That's not what a relationship is supposed to be like, and just because you've been with him so long doesn't mean that you have to STAY with him for the rest of your life.

Try talking to him, and if that doesn't work.....maybe it's time to move on and find a man who cares about a woman in every way, including sexually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:46am
I think your boyfriend is being unreasonable because he should know a girl needs to be turned on before having sex otherwise it can be very uncomfortable. Explain to him what you want him to do to you and what feels good and try new positions to get him more eager to please you aswell as getting himself off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:30pm
he did it before and doesnt do it know. That tells me there is something wrong in the relationship. Most men will tell you one of the greatest things about sex is pleasing the woman. I love the feel of her and want to explore but it really gets good when she starts responding, the moans, the gyrating of the hips. I love it when she gets so worked up that she climbs of me.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 5:31pm
Sounds like a case of the lazies, if you ask me. And no, you can't "get him" to do anything if he doesn't want to. Just remind him that if he wanted sex to be from a male perspective only, then he should find a guy to have sex with, since you have different needs as a woman! LOL!