Really Last Question
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| Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:17pm |
A few days ago I talked about how when I meet some one I am interested in, I would tell myself, "Perhaps I should not bother her," and discourages myself from approaching.
Yesterday I stumbled upon one of Stanley Milgrim's essay in which he discussed how, to protect himself or herself from over-stimulation, a city-dweller carries an unfriendly, impersonal appearance, and disregards what does not deserve his or her attention. Moreover, he mentioned that these norms of non-involvement are so powerful that people are unwilling to break them. As as New Yorker, every day I experience and practice these norms of non-involvement.
The essay made me think that, although I do have rejection-anxieties, perhaps I am less uncomfortable with approaching the woman than with doing it in front of other people. For example, once when we were alone, I told a girl that I had a crush on her with full knowledge that she would turn me down, but at other times, when we were in front of others, it felt so nerve-wrecking to even make small talks.
If it is the case that I am afraid of approaching a woman in front of others, why am I telling myself that she does not want to be bothered? Do you see how I can put those ideas together?

You need to do less reading, less research, less analyzing.....and take some ACTION!
Everyone has fear of rejection! And guess what, if you're rejected, you won't die!
If you don't learn to ACT.....you'll never know if you'd have been rejected, or accepted.
I agree with Sakura, stop reading, stop analyzing and just go for it.