what is hot sex and how can I have it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
what is hot sex and how can I have it?
4
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 2:31pm

Will someone explain hot sex to me?

What is it? How do you have it and where? I am not very experienced and I have this new BF and I want to have sex that is mind blowing. But I don't have a clue what I'm doing.
Please need some answers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 7:24pm

No two people will necessarily agree on what makes "hot sex" hot. Ask your boyfriend what he thinks is hot and do whatever you're both comfortable with.

Also, it's unrealistic to expect mind-blowing sex in a new relationship. It takes time to figure out what works for each of you. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:44pm

Hot sex....mind blowing sex...it's what you get when you get experienced, and you're with someone who you care about, and who cares about you.

There's an old saying..there's no such thing as bad sex, just good sex, and better sex.

I agree with Malice on all her points. Everyone is different, with different ideas and different needs. Since you're not very experienced, someone has to teach you some things....and your partner will be happy to do that. Teach and showing can make it "hot". Of course, if your b/f is young and inexperienced too.....he may not know enough to teach you, so you can experiment, and learn together. This b/f, and any future partners you have will all be different.....so even when you're experienced, you have to ask them what they like. What this guy loves, the next guy might hate.

Also, don't forget that there are TWO of you involved. It's just as much for you as it is for him. If you're enjoying it, so will he. A really good lover gets as much pleasure from seeing his partner enjoying it as he does from his own pleasure.

Learn about YOUR body so you can teach him what YOU like....learn about foreplay, and what makes your body work. A good place to start is www.the-clitoris.com There are things there that you probably don't even know about yourself! If he's not very experienced, then he should read it too.

And it's never that great for the first few times with new partners.....for the very reason that you have to learn about each other. Practice makes perfect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 5:49pm
Thanks to both of you! I love the site you directed me to very informative. And it's true we do enjoy each other very much, but I have a couple guy friends that are always bragging about the hot sex they are having. Maybe since males are more visual they think its hot sex...who knows. I guess I will find out on my new journey. Again thanks for the encouraging advice
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 12:00am

That's right.......you'll find out for yourself. And don't listen to other guys OR women who brag about their sex lives. First of all, most of them are lying....because they think it makes THEM hot stuff, or it's just that they have some "fantasy" about what "hot sex" is like, and they'd never admit that it's NOT happening for them. Women are just as bad...they like to brag about multiple orgasms.....when they've probably never even had ONE.

It's about pleasure, and if you have pleasure, don't worry about what other people say they have or do.