Bigger isn't always Better

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Bigger isn't always Better
12
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:10am
Anyone out there have issues with your man being too big. I am fairly well endowed, but its not always that enjoyable in bed. It hurts my wife to the point it turns her off to have intercourse. Anyone have the same issues, or know how to correct them? Thanks....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:28am
What do you mean by "too big"? Too long?...too thick?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:32am
I would say a little of both, but more too long...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:39am
Length is the easier of the two to make her comfortable..You really need to be careful about how deeply you penetrate her. If only half will fit comfortably, then you can only incert half. I know when one gets carried away it isnt easy to control, but you have to so she doesnt experience pain. My wife had a guy with a true 9" who drove her hard and deep, too deep in fact. it really hurt her, and she came to dread having sex with him..So my best advice is to learn to control how deep you go in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 9:44am
Same size, same problem here.... thanks for the tips..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 10:08am
If you thrust too hard, you're hitting her cervix, and THAT can be very painful for most women. Just don't go so deep, find a position that won't LET you go so deep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 1:22pm
Oh yes! I've been telling DH for 17 years now that he's too big and he won't even tell me his deminsions ( he knows he's big but doesn't want me to know just how big for fear that I'll refuse to take it within me again!). He is large in both length and diameter so depth and angle are cruecial for my comfort. I've heard of a device that some couples have used ( don't know what it's called ) but it's more or less a ring that goes around the penis, as a guide, to help a man know when he's gone deep enough. Kind of like a reminder. My DH didn't think it sounded like something that would benefit us and he's worked hard over the years to modify his angleing and depth.
For me the best position is missionary because I can better control the depth, angle and and speed. I never ask for the doggie position because this allows deep penetration. But when DH askes it's usually after I've O'ed and he's willing to keep it slow and shallow. We rarely do any positions that are not face to face because of his size and my inability to fully handle him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 1:50pm

Danidi,

From what I hear, you suggest missionary with her on top is the best way. At any point is full insertion ever become possible? As with most guys I would assume, I would like to give it all to her. Also, I see 'DH' on here alot and am fairly new, what does it mean?

Thank You

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 10:45am

DH is "dear husband".....DW, "dear wife", etc.

Why is it important to you to "give it all" to her? If that causes pain for her.....it causes pain. Her cervix isn't going to move!

99% of the nerve endings in your penis are in the head. How will it feel any better to you if the head goes deeper? If not being able to give it all to her is the worst problem you ever encounter in your sex life, thank your lucky stars!

PS: If she's in a position where her pelvis is higher than her torso, there's a possibility that her uterus and cervix will shift upwards slightly, and it might work for you. Try missionary, but with her legs over your shoulders. It will probably also cause "queefs".....but that's no big deal.




Edited 2/17/2007 10:49 am ET by sakura2006
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 8:11am

Sakura,

Thanks for your ideas. Its not that important that I give it all to her, I am more concerned about not hurting her. We will give your ideas a shot.. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 4:13pm
No and no. Missionary for us is DH on top but I can determine the depth by the tilt of my pelvis and the width in which I spread my legs apart. On top is OK ( it's much better for me than the doggie position ) because I have the most control over depth and angle.
I've never been able to take all of him without great yelps and cries of pain. Not a sexy feeling for me nor does it sound arousing to my DH. Unfortunately, when too deep penetration occures, it usually ends our LM'ing encounter because then I end up with painfull spasms that doesn't allow for comfortable IC at all, at least until the next day or two.

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