just curious to read your input, thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2004
just curious to read your input, thanks
2
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 10:54pm

I wish I had the time to come here more often and help others with thier love life problems.....sorry about that, but if anyone is interested, please read on.

Can you answer me a general question? If you had 2 men who like you, who would you rather start dating seriously? I've been on 3 dates with "Guy 1" and only one with "Guy 2." I like them both, but some things are starting to annoy me. My friends said I can see both at the same time until either of them ask me to be a couple, but I'm starting to get annoyed with both of them.

I won't ask you to consider the following as factors for your decision or advice for me to pick, because both guys possess these great qualities: the way they dress, speak, their mannerisms, respect for other people, they don't talk behind their friends' back, how friendly they are to strangers or waitresses when they take you out to dinner, how close they are with their family, they dont' smoke. They are both really great guys except for:

Guy 1.

He is American and lives 10 minutes from me, but he is a little obsessed with music. Don't get me wrong, I love 80's music (Bon Jovi, hence my username here), but I won't force my niece to listen to their music when she gets older. How would you feel if this guy who you are dating forced his nephew to listen to Pearl Jam and now takes him to concerts and he brags about it? I guess it's a good thing that his nephew actually liked what he was forced to hear, but I still think that's a little crazy. And to admit it and tell everyone you know?

We are both 31. By the time 90's music came out we were busy in college and I didn't make the time and effort to like Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but this guy did. Even now, I still like Bon Jovi because they are around, but I'm not a crazy fan anymore. I think it's a little immature of this guy to be such a big fan of Pearl Jam ......in 2007. Are they still together? like Bon Jovi? I don't even know.

Another factor is my dad is a retired music teacher and had a wedding band before he retired. My siblings studied music in college so I grew up listening to opera and classical. I was trying to be open minded and listened to some Pearl Jam songs, and omg, I don't like them or "Teen Spirit." How many times was I watching Bon Jovi on tv and my dad walked in and was like "That's not real music." How would my dad feel if my boyfriend is a huge fan of rock music?

We both studied business in college.

Guy 2

He is 34 and European. We are so different because he is from a different culture, plus he lived in Europe for so long. His parents stayed in Europe and he came to America by himself when he was 20. He plays the piano and accordion and has never heard of Journey or Survivor. We have nothing in common and talk about the weather. He really cares for me though and tells me everyday, and compliments me. We have only been on one date, but chat alot. I think he says the nice things he does because I have a European look to my face, I almost look foreign and look like I am from his country, but I was born in NY, I'm American.

He did not go to college but owns a construction company. He has a house and when his parents visit from Europe they stay for a month. He lives 20 minutes from me but is over a bridge with a $7 toll. He built a brick oven in his backyard and makes pizza for the whole neighborhood.

I feel like we talk about the same thing everytime. It's cold, how was your day?

Who do you think you would have more fun with? Who would you rather be with or be willing to date seriously? I know it sounds crazy, but I want to know everyone's view.

Thanks a lot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:23pm
IMO...I would love to date someone from another country. I can think of tons of things to talk about..but I'm not you. Only you can decide who you want to spend your time with and who makes you feel good. My advice to you is to go out with European guy a couple more times and see how it goes...but if you just feel too awkward with him then dont. I think it would be awesome to learn about other cultures and languages and what better way to do that than if you're dating someone you really like...also IF you do really like European guy as you say you do...relationships take effort...they aren't about convience i.e. 10 minutes from home vs. 20 minutes from home and a $7.00 toll bridge...
hope this helped...keep us posted
Photobucket
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 3:01am
you've only been out with them a few times.what's the rush? who says you have to be a couple. you can date them both until you decide on one of them or neither. take your time its your choice.