Too tight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Too tight?
5
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 9:43pm
So me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time. She was a virgin but I'm not and we were literally working at just getting myself inside of her for probably 10min. Beforehand I was using two fingers inside of her and that enough was very tight. Then when we finally got it in she said it hurt but enjoyed it. Then I decided to be a hero and switch positions and then we couldn't get it back in for the rest of the night and it was over. Very frusterating as I'm sure you could imagine haha. So naturally I'm sure she isn't exactly dying to try it again but I'm sure she will come around. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: bassmanarw
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:45am

You should try to learn about women's bodies and how they work. Sticking two fingers in a vagina is NOT going to get you anywhere. Do you know what foreplay is? Do you know what a clitoris is? Do you know that for a woman's vagina to fully relax and allow intercourse she needs to be aroused and relaxed and well lubricated, PARTICULARLY a virgin? Do you know that even if you give her lots of foreplay, she's still going to be nervous, and that nervousness will not let her relax and lubricate properly?

Do you also know how unfair it is to just force yourself into her when it's hurting her? She told you it felt good because she was afraid to tell you the truth. When you're in pain, it does NOT feel good.

You need to learn about the female body. You need to know that there is a LOT more that a woman needs than intercourse......for a man, that's the ultimate.....for a woman, it's not. You may be "experienced", but it's obvious that none of your partners have explained things to you (which, unfortunately young girls are usually afraid to do!). Check out www.the-clitoris.com to learn what a good lover has to know.

Unfortunately, your girlfriend had a lousy first experience. Now you have to make it up to her by doing it right, meaning lots of foreplay, clitoral stimulation, and have some sexual lubricant ready, because she'll need it. She's going to be scared and tense because she'll be expecting pain again. If you want to be a good lover, you need to learn about women's bodies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
In reply to: bassmanarw
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 9:08am
She was probably nervous and too dry. Be sure to provide LOTS of foreplay...while her mind might have been ready, her body obviously wasn't. Also, it won't hurt to add lube (or as DH says, you can never have too much lube). One way to make sure she doesn't experience a lot of pain is to encourage her to do WOT, that way she gets to control things. If all is going well, then you can try different positions.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
In reply to: bassmanarw
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 10:31pm
Oh my, I sense some hostility. Perhaps I didn't explain very well and gave the wrong impression. Yes I know what those things are, and I was merely trying to indicate how tight she was with the 2 fingers thing which was part of the foreplay. Also, I never forced myself inside of her as she wanted me to continue after I asked several times. It could be possible that it was all just trying to please me but I know her well enough to know that wasn't the case. I know she was nervous and that was probably a big reason. I tried to give her time and such but she kept saying something along the lines of if i was ready indicating that she wanted to continue. So she was actually kind of being the agressive one who wanted to just do it. I'm sure despite that she was very nervous anyway as she was talking to me before about how her friend had told her before how much it hurts the first time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
In reply to: bassmanarw
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 11:36am

I'll share a trick with you that worked for me. While I wasn't a virgin when I met my current dh, I hadn't had sex (and certainly my ex was NOWHERE near his size, LOL!) in almost 2 years.

One of the things that worked for us is that he would spend lots and lots of time with foreplay on me. In the beginning, I needed a minimum of three orgasms in order for my body to be relaxed enough to receive his size. Now, he just needs to look at me and I'm ready!

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
In reply to: bassmanarw
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 4:53pm
Yeah we probably just need a lot more time for foreplay which I suppose is kind of a no brainer but I think I just needed the extra confirmation haha. Thank you!