Extra large clitoris.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Extra large clitoris.
8
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 6:42pm
My boyfriend recently told me that I have a really big clitoris. I was really embarrassed. He always pulls back my foreskin and strokes the knob in a circular motion. It feels really great. Here's the problem. He started calling it a penis and stroking it back and forth with his thumb and index finger. I love it. I get a fully erect clitoris but I'm not sure I want my clitoris being treated as a penis. He says it looks like a penis with a split down the bottom of the knob like a guy. I told him that all clitorises have a knob split down the bottom. He says he loves giving me a "hard on" and that he loves my "boner." Sometimes he calls it my "dink." He says he loves "giving me head" and when he refers to my masturbation he refers to what I do as "whacking off." Last night he asked me if he could play with my "weenie". Anyway he's been treating it like a penis and I'm not sure I want to be thought of as a "guy". Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this? I need help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 12:06am

How old is your b/f? 12? There is nothing wrong with your clitoris. It's large, and they come in all sizes, just as penises do. What you can do with your b/f is tell him to stop saying things like that. He probably thinks he's cute, but if it's bothering you, then tell him to stop. If he won't stop, then HE needs to grow up.

If you haven't told him his stupid remarks bother you, then it's up to you to tell him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 8:36am
Sounds like your boyfriend is just being playful. The clitoris is the female equivalent of the male penis, and he probably considers it a compliment -- afterall, all men are proud of their penises! My DH often talks about how erect my clitoris is and makes various comments -- but not all the time. He does it in a playful manner, and thus far it hasn't bothered me....but I wouldn't want him referring to it all the time in such a manner. I'm sure if you let him know that it bothers you he will stop. If you don't want to make him feel bad, perhaps you could do so in a playful manner.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 8:39am

Why haven't you told him to knock it off?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 1:50pm

Clitoris' come in all shapes and sizes, just like penis'. First and foremost, you must tell him how you feel about his remarks. Let him know that you like WHAT he does but you don't like what he SAYS. You are a woman and want to be treated and spoken to like a woman. I think it's *CUTE* to give you a 'hard-on' but to play with your weenie? He needs to know and grow up! Or maybe, he's got a hidden bi-sexual interest that he's dying to explore!

Communication is the number one key to a healthy (sexual) relationship!

Katie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 5:36pm
I just saw him this afternoon. I talked to him and he said that male parts always have these names and the clitoris should have the same names since it’s pretty much the same thing. He says it has a shaft, a knob and it gets hard. He went on to say that it was sex discrimination not to have the same words applied to a female penis. He told me that women are embarrassed to admit they have a little penis. Then he grinned and told me that he wants to "give me a blow job." I’m not sure he takes this too seriously. I told him “okay.” I just want him to be happy so we can get on with our lives. If he wants to refer to my clitoris as a “dink”, “weenie”, whatever, I guess it’s okay. It doesn’t really bother me since basically that’s what it is. What would you tell your S.O. if he seriously referred to your clitoris as a penis (not playfully)? Would it bother you to think of your clitoris as a penis?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 6:15pm

Why *guess* it's okay if you really don't like it?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 6:59pm

>>You can also say his penis is a clitoris since both a clitoris and a penis start out as the phallus in the embryo. ALL internal and external genitals are the same in males and females the first few weeks of pregnancy.<<

I was going to suggest the same thing...

What he's doing is disrespect. If my SO grinned and said he wants to give me a blow job, I would have shown him the door... NOT say OK! By saying OK, you just gave him the message that he can treat you which ever way he wants and your feelings/opinion don't matter. To make him happy and go on with your life is going to make you miserable and unappreciated. You are going to find yourself lost in this relationship.

If SO compared my clitoris to a penis, I know it would be as an observation, open communication on both parts. My SO would also respect me as a woman and respect my feelings if I told him I didn't like it when he referred to my clitoris as a penis!

Women do not have *little penis* they have a clitoris. In my opinion, it is him who is discriminating the female sexual organ by not honouring it's real name and your feelings.

Katie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 12:51am

You came here unhappy because of his insensitivity. It bothered you. Now, you tell him you don't like it, but HE says he's going to keep doing it, so you agree because you want HIM to be happy? How about YOU? Now suddenly you agree that it's a little penis. It's NOT, it's a clitoris. Maybe you should refer to his penis as a HUGE clitoris! Try calling his pecs "man boobs"! Ask him how he likes to have "girlie" parts!

You're setting a very bad precedent for him, yourself and your future. If your partner hurts your feelings, and when you tell him that he does, he tells you he's going to continue doing it, and you say "oh well, as long as he's happy". Do you not count at ALL in this relationship? It sounds like you don't, or you THINK you don't.

Maybe this is a minor issue, but when someone upsets you, you tell them to stop it, and if they refuse to stop, then they don't care very much about YOUR feelings. You need to start standing up for yourself, and demanding respect from him. It's not so much that he said it in the first place, but the fact that he says he'll keep calling it that whether you like it or not, shows that he has NO respect for you.