ED and Diabetes
Find a Conversation
ED and Diabetes
| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 10:38pm |
I have been "seeing" this guy who is 50. I am 25. He has diabetes and claims he suffers from some ED. We have been "talking" or whatever you want to call it for about a year. Some things have happened such as we kissed once (it was amazing), there has been touching but all on his part, but nothing serious. Everytime I talk about or joke about why we aren't sleeping together, he just says it isn't going to happen. He doesn't have good health, little overweight, on oxygen in the evenings, whatever. But like he doesn't even have a sexual arousal towards me and I try not to take it personal but it is hard given our age difference. I basically thought he would be all over me and not the case at all. He won't or doesn't want to get on any meds for it so does that mean it may never happen for us? I want it much more than him, I can't even touch him, we joke about oral but he'd never let me... it frustrates me..

If he has diabetes, then it's likely he also has ED. Are you aware that ED means Erectile Dysfunction.....which also means he may "desire" you, but he's NOT going to get an erection! Why would you take that personally? Why would you "joke" about sleeping together, when you know he can't have sex with you? That's very insensitive, and hurtful for him. Do you think he LIKES having this problem?
Why are you with a man twice your age that is in poor health, and cannot have sexual relations with you? I'm sorry he has those problems, and I'm sure you are too, but you need to move on and find someone closer to your own age, and in good health. If you continue with this guy, you'll wind up being his nurse in a few years. If you think you're frustrated NOW, wait a few years.
You need to move this man to a "friend" category, and look for a relationship elsewhere.
You've got yourself in a real mess. You've got a boyfriend that makes you miserable, and you turn to an older man in bad health to have an affair with, except it can only be an emotional affair, because you can't be intimate....and you take his ill health personally?
I think you're looking for a father! Why don't you end the miserable relationship, and try to find some happiness in your life.....instead of being involved with two men, neither of whom is good for you. YOu need to get your act together, unless you just enjoy the misery and drama.
The man cannot control his ED and you pushing the issue and taking it personally
I can certainly sympathize with you, as I am married to a fifty-two year old man. I am only thirty-seven. My husband has diabetes, high blood pressure, is hugely over weight, and of course he has ED. We have tried everything available on the ED front with no luck.
It sounds like your guy doesn't want sex because he is afraid that his thing "won't work". Believe me that is what is going through his head. When you try and try and it doesn't work you basically give up after a while and don't persue sex anymore.
The best advice I could give you is DON'T stay in this relationship with this man. He is way too old for you and there are problems that you can't solve no matter how hard you try. I know because I have spent some 9 years or more trying - it doesn't work.
I can honestly tell you that there is absolutely nothing going on here. My husband is so much overweight that he can't even have sex - even if it did work. I have really become bitter about this relationship and I long for the love of a man who really wants me and who can have sex. My husband and I do not sleep in the same bed, nor do we share any kind of relationship. We live in the same house and share expenses. I don't want that for anyone else.
I pray that you can see the light and move on with your life. I am sorry if I sound kind of harsh. I just don't want someone else to make the same mistake I did.