Something's been bothering me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Something's been bothering me
3
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 2:59am

I've been married for 13 years, and I love my husband dearly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 3:31am
LOL, the Sinclair Institiute Better Sex DVD's, they come in a set, maybe would help, hey it is a poke int he dark, sorry,lol. Now more about the longnecks please,lol.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 9:25am

I hear what you're saying, and I have 2 words for you: TAKE CHARGE

My hubby is a wonderful lover and always has been, BUT he can get very, very routine and I can have trouble getting my mind into the game. Or so it used to be! Since I have had this incredible libido surge, it's been like "do or die" for me, and that feeling really helped me open up about sex. When it came time to get down to business, I was bringing a lot of fun to the table and taking charge of what we were doing. Presented in the style of experimentation, he quickly noted the things that I reacted the most strongly to, and has added those to his "to do" list.

This began a couple of years ago, increased dramatically around January of this year, and is still clicking along at a reasonable pace. We BOTH now look for new things to try whether it be positions, places or things (funny you should mention that beer bottle!). The other wonderful thing about presenting the "experimentation" concept is that you also get to learn things about him and new things he might like to try. My hubby can last for what seems like eternity now (didn't used to be able to), and that's a huge bonus for us. It gives us more time to play, use multiple positions, and have multiple orgasms. We are both amazed at where we are sexually today as compared to any other time in our life.

Of course, everything sexual seems to benefit both of us in some fashion or another, but some of the things that have made a larger impact in our fun lately have been:

- me touching myself during intercourse (drives him wild, pushes him over the edge)

- more oral sex, not necessarily at the beginning of intercourse (provides for continued arousal during slight down time)

- incoporate more toys more often (any time, anywhere, anyhow -- they're all good!)

- really long, passionate kissing sessions (going back to basics is great too!)

- talking about sex often (from sexy phone messages, to masturbation and to lengthy conversations about enjoyment, it adds to desire for both of us)

- dirty talk (he's not near as good as this as I am, but his moans are always right when I need them!)

- making time to enjoy each other (really should be at the top of the list!) This is so much better than "fitting sex in" where we can, although we do that too!

I could probably keep building this list for a while. I know that one of the things that started some of these changes for us was a gift I gave him last Christmas. I presented him with one thing everyday between Xmas and New Years. With each gift, there was a naughty little poem. We got our first bottle of lube then, other gifts were a bottle of bubble bath, chocolate body paint, a vibrating penis ring, a g-spot vibe, a waterproof vibe, and a book and video of sex ideas. The whole presentation cost me right around $50, and it's the best $50 I ever spent! Since then, we add new things to our collection as personal gifts to each other. Some of the items have been lingerie, strands of pearls (plastic, for sex play), a realistic dildo, pornography, flavored lubes and time to ourselves to enjoy them.

I think you'll find if you get creative, it will open new doors for you. The more doors you open, the easier it will get to.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 5:10pm
That damn beer bottle again!
I will have to delete these comments shortly as I sent your post to DW to read, what was I thinking........
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