premature ejaculation

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
premature ejaculation
9
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 5:24pm
My new boyfriend doesn't seem to last very long when we have sex. I think he may be rushing things, because it feels so good to him. I've gotten on top and asked him to slow down, and that helps a little. He's technically proficient at giving me pleasure, I just wish the sex was longer. I've never encountered this before, what can I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 9:07pm

It's great that you've talked to him and he's trying to move in the right direction. Guys can actually retrain themselves and learn to hold off their orgasm. While it's not an overnight process, if you are both working together, it should be all the more helpful.

Here are a couple of articles that you might want to review with him:

"My guy suffers from premature ejaculation" (Please, Squeeze, At Ease)
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/sexexpert/qas/0,,696792_705900,00.html
Written by Ian Kerner who has overcome this himself.

Topical Spray May Treat Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/familycare/familycarenews/0,,wbnews_b6kgfrnk,00.html

Sex: Coping with Husband's Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxcommunicate/0,,6gtv,00.html

He can also practice these techniques during masturbation. During the times that the two of you are together, being in a position where you have control, he may need to communicate to you when he needs you to slow down. Also, if he's able to recover fairly quickly after an orgasm, you may want to try intercourse on the second go round as most guys can last longer then.

Keep us posted, and let us kow how things are going.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 11:13pm

He's your new b/f, and of course he's excited, as well as nervous, and it's not unusual for a guy not to last very long. That's not premature ejaculation. PE is when they don't even get inside before they're finished.

Give him some time to get over the newness and his nervousness, and intercourse will last longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 11:30pm

Just out of curiousity, how long is "not too long"?

Have you tried giving him a blow job prior to intercourse? That has helped me in the past when the sex was new.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 12:52pm

PE is actually defined as "not long enough for the person's liking"

I have it, and I am fine during foreplay, but as soon as I get inside her, I last only at most a minute or two. She does not climax in that time and I am not satisfied with that time. She says no problem because I please her oraly first but I don't like it.
We will be practicing these techniques as soon as I talk to her about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:08pm
Let us know how it goes with the new techniques luvlickin.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:49pm
Depending on how virile he his, have you tried pleasuring him to climax with either your hand or mouth before intercourse? Obviously this would be a problem if he is someone who cannot perform after ejaculation, but how about giving him a "freebie" (for lack of a better term) then waiting 15 or 20 minutes to engage in intercourse? That way he might last longer and you still get to feel the sensation of him releasing inside of you. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:55pm

Welcome to the board psychosemantic, and thanks for joining in. We have an August Roll Call thread. If you stop in there, you can introduce yourself to fellow board members.



Hope you enjoy the board. Feel free to jump in anywhere, or start your own threads too.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 6:45pm
Thanks so much, everyone. Yes, I'll try that, though I'm a bit nervous about asking him to be able to last longer, hoping he won't see it as a negative comment of his abilities as a lover. We usually engage in pleasure several times, and, he's the nicest, most emotionally evolved guy I ever met. Last night, he surprised me by cooking me a gourmet four course meal, with opera on the stereo, followed by a full body massage. I think I'll read up on some of the physical tips to slow down the arousal process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 8:30am
I'll try Misty. I have spoke to her before about trying to do some things to last longer, but she says she doesn't have a problem with it and lets it go.
I will have to have a serious heart to heart and explain how much it really bothers me.
I'm 44 and have dealt with this all my adult life. I used to masturbate before hand and last longer the second time with sex, but now I can't recoup like I did then, so that doesn't work any more.