Was this strange

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Was this strange
7
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 5:12pm

or was it just me?

I just got out of a sexual relationship with a man unlike any I have ever been with before. The first time we had sex, his version of foreplay was a lot of kissing and touching. It was very light touching, sensual, but he didn't really play with my breasts and nothing below the waist.

And the foreplay went downhill from there. I actually had a conversation with him about it, and he said that he does like foreplay, but he finds it to be a very intimate thing.

This continued for two months and really never got anything more. I did try to discuss it with him again near the end, but I never pushed the issue. I did provide him with it, and that was because I wanted to. I was not expecting anything in return, but it might have been nice.

Is this a common occurrance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: toria5
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 8:14pm

I don't think it's common at all, but there are men who don't understand that foreplay is necessary to make your experience better.

You refer to this as a "sexual relationship", so was that the common purpose for both of you? It sounds like he definitely viewed it that way. By saying that he liked foreplay but considered it to be "very intimate" shows that he was only concerned with taking care of his own needs.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: toria5
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:11pm

No, I termed it sexual because it had moved into that realm. We were dating.

I generally had an issue with him around the world revolving around his needs and his moods. I think this was just another category.

I guess I was just a bit taken aback because he was married for 8 years and in the 2 years since his divorce he has had a number of girlfriends. One would have thought this would have come up with one of them??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: toria5
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:21pm

Since you say he had several GFs in the 2 years since his divorce, it's likely that this has come up in other relationships.

Since you say you are no longer with him, what are you trying to figure out? Seems he had some bad habits and a very selfish side. As for if it's a "normal occurrence" for a guy to be this way, I would say not if he wants to keep a GF.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: toria5
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:00pm

It probably did come up before and that might be why the other women are no longer with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
In reply to: toria5
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 7:10pm
When you had your conversation about foreplay, did you tell him how you wanted to be touched? I guess I don't completely understand your post. I've read it 3x and for some reason, my mind is retarded today. When you say you never got anything more, you mean you never got anything more than kissing and light touching, or do you mean you wanted longer foreplay or you wanted more going on during foreplay?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: toria5
Sat, 09-01-2007 - 9:06am
Yes, nothing more then kissing and light touching, and yes, that really didn't last for long either. I discussed it with him, and he would maybe touch me for about a minute longer, but overall, he just kept saying he sees foreplay as something "intimate". He said he did like to go down on a woman, and its one of his favorite things, but I pretty much knew that was never going to happen with me anytime soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
In reply to: toria5
Sat, 09-01-2007 - 5:41pm
Well, it sound to me like you are much better off without him! Selfish lovers are generally selfish in many other ways as well.