A moment of ED - feeling inadequate

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
A moment of ED - feeling inadequate
5
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 11:37pm
I was with my AP and giving him a blow job. We were in his car. He started to give me "instructions" on how he wanted it done, even though we had done it many times before and there was never a problem. I wanted to please him and I said, "Tell me what you want me to do" and he was trying to show me and I was trying and suddenly he just said, "no, no this isn't going to work." (or something to that effect). I felt terrible and still do. We talked about it afterward. He felt bad too and claims it was because he was worried about a car in the parking lot and I said I thought there was someone else and I wasn't "adequate". We haven't seen each other since for many reasons, but it still bothers me. I've only had that happen maybe twice in my 47 years. Is it me? Is it him? Could it be he was thinking of someone else and thinking "she's not doing it like so and so"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:10am

Erections have a mind of their own.....and rarely is it because the partner is "inadequate". He lost the moment......and that could have been for many reasons.....if he thought someone was watching that would certainly do it.

Erections don't go away because there's someone else, either. Nervousness, worry, stress.....fear of being caught....there are lots of reasons why it could have happened.....least likely because you did anything wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 7:07am

Welcome to the board applepie60.

I'm not sure why you would think he might be thinking of someone else, but in all likelihood, he wasn't. If he was worried about another car in the parking lot seeing the two of you, and he was trying to give you directions -- seems his mind was plenty occupied right there.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 9:47am
You can't ever worry about stuff like this. Once in a while erections just die of their own accord despite the total health and well-being of their owner. It's not a voluntary thing. The fact that it's in a car can seem either really hot or way too sketchy. We were doing this last winter at a truckstop, and someone walked right by and obviously saw her head bobbing up and down fast, and we freaked for two seconds but then if anything it got even harder and we were like, okayokay so what he saw us big deal let's keep going. lol. Anyhow there's just no rhyme or reason to it -- if the guy's at all nervous, chances are the dog might not hunt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:17pm
I know how you feel belive me your not alone I am 45 my hubby is 46 and I am going thu the same thing. its not you I have learned that much but getting them to get help is another thing at least on my part. Hey glad I found this site It feels good to know I am not alone when it comes to this subject.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:55pm

Welcome to the board sassy5362. It can be very frustrating for both of you to deal with ED. I'm putting a link here to a post I did a while back. There are a lot of sources for information on ED.

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlletstalkab&msg=19896.1

Also, here's another post that you might find helpful too.

How to React to His Performance Problems
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlletstalkab&msg=20531.1



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