sex with a new man.. advice on something
Find a Conversation
sex with a new man.. advice on something
| Thu, 09-06-2007 - 10:57am |
hi there i wonder if you could give some advice. iv been in a relationship with a guy for almost 2 months, and he's had a rather promiscious past; like going out wiv girls for a week, sh**ging them and dumping them and hes honest about this. but he said from the start that i do something for him and he's scared cos he hasnt cared about anyone in years. we have a womderful time 2getha, being close, having a laugh, and have done a few things sexually but he says he wants to take his time with me so we haven't had sex. He's planning a surprise 4 my bday next week and we've got a nice weekend away in a few weeks, but now im terrified i won't live up to his expectations in bed- iv only been with one guy and that was only once. my man is very experienced.. what if im awful? or does him wanting 2 wait mean il be more than a 'sh*g', and he won't mind what i'm like, it will be more 'making love? im so scared. xx

If you really do mean more to him than just some one-nighter, then he should be understanding if you don't have as much "experience" as he has. Besides, him being with more women doesn't necessarily mean he is more "experienced" and as a result better for it, KWIM? IMO it's quality and not quantity that counts.
Keep your confidence up and enjoy your time together, wether the sex happens or not.
Wendy
Wendy
There's no way of knowing if you're more than a shag to him....unless you don't do it, and he still hangs around. He can SAY anything he wants to....but you don't know him well enough to know whether or not he's honest, and he means what he says, or it's all just a game to him.
As for his "experience".....that means exactly nothing. If a man has been driving for years, and he get in an accident once a month, he's an experienced driver, but he still doesn't know how to drive.....get it?
No one is "awful" sexually if they care about their partner, and "participate" in the act. You can be just as "good" the first time as you are the 1000th time. What if HE's "awful"?....which is very possible. A man who truly cares about a woman does NOT compare her to women in his past.
If you're so scared about everything, maybe you're not ready to be in a relationship at all......and the fact that he's "been" a "playboy"......and you're not sure if he's STILL a "playboy".......maybe you need to cancel your trip until you're more sure of him, and more sure of yourself.
Follow your instincts....when in doubt, DON'T!
Welcome to the board mcr_fan.
I can understand you being nervous, but you'll both have a better experience if you can try to relax. Having more partners just makes him more experienced at having more partners, not at being a better lover. Making love to a person is much more in your mind than in your body, and your body will react based on what's going on in your mind.
It sounds like he does view you as more than his typical one night stand, but I would still proceed with caution. Often when people have one night stands (especially so often) it's because they have difficult with commitment. I would make sure I didn't do anything until I was ready to proceed.
Have you both been tested for STDs? I would want a clean bill of health, especially since the two of you are taking things slow. That will give you plenty of time to get blood testing done. If you don't have that before you have sex, then make sure you use condoms for your protection.
Good luck with your relationship. There's always that one person that stops you in your tracks, and maybe you're that person for him! Keep us updated on how things are going.