ouchy position and etc.
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| Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:49pm |
i find im very sensitive down there where if we had sex just a tiny bit rougher i bleed a little after and am sore, but could this be the reason when bf rested my feet on his shoulders to penetrate me deeper it hurt. more like my vision got blurry and i couldnt think all i could do was barely get the words no too much too much out. i think he hit my cervix or pubic bone area. but i also have a iud in me which im wondering could that have ne affect on in he went deep enough. i have a problem with figuring out how to O cus i never have before with him and cant when i masterbate but can when i rub myself on a pillow a certain way. poor guy i dont know wat he thought when it happened and i know he was trying to create pleasure for the both of us. heh.
thoughts could be appreciated as well as maybe different positions of ways i could come closer to achieving orgasms with him.
Oh and also another question, do ne of u think doggy position would go deep enough in a certain way to cause him hitting an awkward area in me? im interested to bring up the idea of trying with him but im not interested in the mindblowing (not the good kinda mindblowing lol) sensation the legs on the shoulder position made.
sorry i know loong post one more thing. hasnt gotten me to O by fingering me or performing oral on me. i believe a lot of the reason is he is revved up pretty fast and we get dont to business and for a lot of us gals foreplay is majorly important in getting aroused but im aroused when we play with the clothes on but when the clothes come off poof! libido comes crashing back down to earth, sigh complicated i know, isnt it?
thanks so much!
~Lioness

Sounds like you need to get more foreplay going without your clothes on. That's what's going to put you closer to orgasm. You need to make sure you relax and enjoy what you're feeling.
I don't think bleeding after sex is ever "normal" (unless it's the first time, maybe). There isn't anything that he should be hitting that would cause bleeding, but the bleeding could be a sign of another problem. Before I would worry about that, I would see if it happens again. It could be that you were too dry or his fingers gave you a little cut.
If deep penetration caused you pain, you might run into that same problem with doggy position. One thing different will be that during doggy, you can move your body to slightly different angles, which might alleviate any pressure/pain. With your feet over his shoulders, you're pretty much stuck there. If he is bumping your cervix too hard during doggy, unless he's holding you back somehow (holding your shoulders, hips, hair, etc.), then you can move forward a bit and he won't be able to thrust so deeply.
HTH
If he's "pounding" on your cervix, it's going to HURT. He may think you enjoy the deep thrusts, but most women do NOT. You don't endure the pain, you TELL him it hurts, and you change positions. Your feet on his shoulders make it go too deep. He can control how hard and deep he thrusts, plus you need to find a position where he CAN'T.
As for orgasms from intercourse, unless you're getting some clitoral stimulation at the same time, it's probably not going to happen. I don't know what you call "masturbation"....but when you rub on a pillow, it's working because you're stimulating the clitoris, NOT your vagina. The vagina has little or no feeling inside with the exception of the "g" spot.
You can get clitoral stimulation during intercourse by rubbing it yourself, him rubbing it, or your position. WOT is best for that. You control the depth, and you rub your clitoris against his pubic bone....
WOT is a woman's position, and you do the work while he lays there and watches you enjoy yourself.....it doesn't work if he's bouncing up and down......or if you're bouncing up and down. It works best when you just rub against him slowly and sensuously. When you've had enough, you can always change positions, and let him get his.
If you need more foreplay from him, then he has to learn NOT to get revved up too fast...it's a matter of control....and he can do it.
You get what you ask for, and if you don't ask, how is he supposed to know?
yes i do think i need to get more foreplay w/o the clothes on. he will have fun too i know i just need to be a bit more assertive cus he usually does take over and i guess im all about pleasing him because i know its harder for me to cum, so i will try to focus more on myself next time instead of him.
about the bleeding i think it might be the angle he penetrates me when hes on top? because after wards when i feel down there it is very similar to when my hymen tore partially the first time and feels the same, sorta a dull burn after. it isnt much bleeding just some leaking almost.
i was thinking doggy might cause more deep penetration and it is good to know all the varying ways u can perform one position so its pleasurable in different ways to different people.
thanks misty for ur help!
~Lioness
You might want to check out the all new "Perfect Position Selector" too. Here's a link:
http://choosers.ivillage.com/love/perfect_position/launcher.php
I can't remember for sure, but were you both virgins?
thanks for the link, ill check it out.
were we both virgins? i was, he wasnt
~Lioness
i tried replying to u this morning but the lap top was being screwy and evey time i finished typing my long reply i got booted, lol so here it goes again..
i am glad that somehow i got him to switch from legs on shoulders to missionary cus once the change to missionary was done then the pain subsided, i agree i need to find a position that works for me cus its not fair if only one person gets most of the fun right?
i feel i try to please him so much because i know that i never cum during sex i guess that takes some of the focus off of figuring out wat feels good for myself.
as for my orgasms and masturbation techniques in the beginning, and even occasionally still, i would start off by arousing myself by playing with my breast which i know feels good and then after that move downwards and have tried pinching stroking playing with my clitoris and safe objects inside and out playing with feel good parts inside etc, and in the end as soon as i went from breasts to my pubic area my libido plummetted from being into space to crashing into the earth.sigh, so i found the best way to satisfy myself (meaning orgasm) was to rock back and forth along a soft object like a pillow and it creates friction against my clitoral area and so i guess i just stuck with that.
i feel if i can try a WOT position and use both our bodies the same way i do to achieve orgasm by myself hopefully i will have some good luck.
it is nice to know there are various different ways to use the same position to accomadate different individuals to their likings. :) and i totally agree with u in that i get wat i ask for as i tend to want to please more than help myself perform. no one is a mind reader and i will have to communicate to bf wat i want. i will try being more assertive in the bedroom and i know things will start looking up, for the both of us :)
thanks for ur help sakura!
~Lioness
well i sort of wanted to try doggy i just wanted some imput on it. and im not sure if it could be the case about my vagina being shorter. im fairly tall in the legs and arms but avarage gal 5' 4 1/2" but im very small in weight only around 116? i think. maybe i just feel him more cus im smaller or i could have a body that just can accomadate a certain size. shrugs, i dunno but im def. gonna try to work on slowing bf down and getting more no-clothes foreplay in before the penetration part. thanks for the advice ocean :)
~Lioness
thanks for the reply. it was very helpful. we tried doggy the other day and it didnt have pain but it had a lot more sensation for me which was very good :) although he did keep slipping out. with the spooning position that we tried the same day before the doggy there was a TON of more sensation plus i like the way he holds me during it. although he slipped out with that one too. i just told him "i must say we need to practice those positions more cus those were feelin good positions." lol practice makes perfect.
about the iud i knew about eptopic pregnancies which are scary i can imagine! we are not really into having childrean and i often joke that i only want children only when im 50, and i like the idea of adopting since there are so many homeless children and since there are alot of genetic disorders on my dads side of the family not only would i not want to add to our "overpopulation"(weird i know) but if i ever had a child i would want to only bring one in the world if i knew they wouldnt suffer with many of the probs i know my family and me have had to deal with. but it is scary that it can hurt ur ability to have children in future for some people. i mean, yea i dont want kids in the near future but wat if i ever do? something to think about for sure.
thanks!
~Lioness
Thanks for posting all the information, and good luck working on your degree.
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