what else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
what else?
6
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:03pm

first off let me say hello to everyone...and introduce myself. my name is jackie, im from ny, im 19, and married.

this is my very first post...so please go easy on me : )

ok, here i go. my husband was the VERY FIRST person i ever was with. i have never done anything sexually with anyone besides him. yet he doesnt believe me. i told him that before we were intimate, and also have been telling him that after we were. he still doesnt believe me. he trusts me, and knows i wouldnt lie about it, he says he just finds it "hard to believe". when i question him about it..he goes on telling me "this is good, and that is good and you know how to do this an this..." and all i can do is want to cry and laugh all at the same time.

i know he trusts me, i just feel stuck, thats all. i feels like i know the truth , and so does he...he just doesnt understand how thats possible. hes a moron. what else can i do...to make him understand? i know its not a problem or anything..it just bothers me.

thanks for listening...well reading. have a great night everybody : )

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
In reply to: jackie2288
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:53pm

Hello Jackie!


I'm also new to this board. And to be honest, there is really nothing you can do to convince your husband that he is your "first". If a person has something made up in their mind, then their is nothing you can say or do to persuade him otherwise.




Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: jackie2288
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:25pm

Welcome to the board jackie2288.

Have you told him that his comments bother you? That you feel they are accusatory?

If he were just a BF, then it might be okay to overlook his comments, but since he's your DH, that makes things a little different. If he's making these comments, it might just be that he is astonished, but it could also appear as if he doesn't believe you. In either event, having a talk outside of the bedroom might be a good step. Let him know how his comments make you feel, and allow him to respond as to why he makes them in the first place.










iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: jackie2288
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:36pm

Honey, your story could be mine!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
In reply to: jackie2288
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 11:34am

good morning everyone!!

thank you so much for the replies : ) it was nice to read what other people think.
i have pretty much thought of everything you guys have said a while ago..and no, im not losing sleep over it. i mean, hey...he can think what he wants..i know whats truth : ) hes not insecure..and he has said on few occasions that he doesnt deserve me.

everytime we have talked about it...it has been out of the bedroom, and either him or I have brought it up in normal convos. actually now that i think about it...im the one who brings it up. it WAS just an issue i had since i couldnt understand why he didnt believe it. and he always always says back to me " well says i tell you its the first time i ever drove a car, and i do great at it...you wouldnt believe me" like i said before it doesnt bother him..he trusts me but he says it hard to beleive it since everything is sooo good. lol..and YES. i have said to him many times...i only knew what i was dooing becuase i did want to be prepared..and i wanted it to be awesome. i have an idea of what would feel good...or if i was a guy what i would and how i wantedit to be done..and thats what i do. : )

i do feel alot better talking about it..instead of just with him. its nice having people to speak too.

have a great day everyone.

-jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: jackie2288
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 11:42am
Anytime a man says "I don't deserve you".......THAT is insecurity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
In reply to: jackie2288
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 7:50pm

Oh Sukura you are so right!!! And your post about your first husband really hit
home for me.. like when you said "your love for him went to disgust" because of insecurities and all that comes with it.. I've learned that hearing things like "I don't deserve you" is
a warning sign rather than a sweet thing to hear especially in certain context
Thanks for sharing

Kareese