Getting frustrated. Help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Getting frustrated. Help?
7
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 5:34pm
I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a little over a year now... and I've never gotten off. Ok not a big deal, I know lots of women can't get off only by having intercourse. I still enjoy sex and we do it pretty often. My problem is that nothing works for me except my vibrator. Oral sex does pretty much nothing for me. I've spent a lot of time masturbating trying to figure out what works for me... and I just can't get off without my vibrator! It barely even feels good when I masturbate without it, in fact I can hardly feel it at all. What is going on with me and does anybody have any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 5:42pm

How long have you been using your vibe?
I have heard that if you use and rely only on your vibrator, it CAN get to the point where that is the only way you can get off.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 5:48pm
I've been using it for a few years... I've tried giving it up but that lasts about 2 days and then I just get tired of never getting off at all :) Yeah I think I am probably just desensitized since I've been using it so much.. if I quit using the vibe will I ever go back to being more sensitive or am I just stuck being like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 5:58pm
Yes, you will eventually become sensitive again.....I don't really know how long it'll take, it may take a while, but practice makes perfect....It sounds like you guys have sex often and you masturbate often so the more you practice with your fingers and your man tongue probably the quicker it'll be :-)
Good Luck!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 6:15pm
I go through phases that I am 'too attached' to my vibe and have a hard time getting off without it. I try to take breaks every once in awhile and just use my fingers. I usually wait until my batteries are dead and I'm out of spares (makes it easier if my vibe doesn't work, then I have to use alternate methods!! LOL) It actually doesn't take long to 're-sensitize' But I have noticed that if I am concentrating on reaching my O, I have a harder time and it takes much much longer. A good friend of mine suggested just enjoying the sensations rather than 'working' towards an O....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 11:24pm

Your friend is right!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 09-27-2007 - 11:58pm

Welcome to the board aries_86.

Sounds to me like you have become too dependent on your vibe. You could take the vibe to bed with you and your BF, or you could give it up for a while. If you give it up for a while, you should find that you become more sensitive to other types of stimulation.

Once you are comfortable with how you're responding without the vibe, then you can bring the vibe back into occasional play. It might seem like you don't want to go for a while without the vibe, but being able to enjoy sex with your BF more, and being able to learn how to have orgasms differently will make it very worthwhile.

Let us know how it goes.










iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 6:00pm

your problem sounds very much like my problem. i am desenitized in a way too. i can only get off one way too. (i hope i can find a way to O with bf sometime) im workin on it, i find a good way to try to find a way is to try different positions with him. im not sure if u only usually do one position or do try different ones.


good luck :)


~Lioness