First time anal sex :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
First time anal sex :(
10
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 3:16am

Hello everyone, I decided to post rather than tell a friend about something that happened a few days ago because its a bit embarrassing!

Ok here goes -I'm 23 years old and have been casually dating a 33 year old man. We finally decided to have sex recently but I felt totally disgusted and can't tell if my reaction was normal or if any girls out there can relate?!

While we're getting pretty heated up and about to have sex, he asks me "have u ever had your a$$ licked?" and I reply "um..no". I ignore the question and eventually we start having sex. While we are switching positions he reaches for a bottle of baby oil and tries to have anal sex. I was pretty weirded out - I mean its not something I personally would find satisfying but painful. So I snatch the oil away from his hand and place it on the side of the bed. Eventually after being in the spooning position for a few minutes (just rubbing) he slips in the bum area - not even half way - I move away. It hurt for about a whole day and honestly - it also grossed me out.

If that's not enough to put me off, we start having a conversation after were done doing the deed and he brings up a girl he dated in the past. He expressed how much he loved it when she gave him oral and licked everything on him - even his anus. He seemed to have found it mind blowing but I got turned off. He expressed how hes dominant in bed and that he enjoys choking and pulling hair - which makes me wonder if the whole anal sex fetish comes from his turn on of being dominant in bed?

Since this has happened - I've distanced myself. It creeped me out a bit. I can't tell if I'm not being open enough or if his fetishes are in fact unusual.

thanks for reading!!

-m.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:38am

It has nothing to do with you not being open enough, it has to do with him being a jerk.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2005
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 3:47pm

thank you for that advice. He is in fact clueless about a woman's sexual needs but just selfish on his part. I have already broke things off with him and have NO regrets what so ever. Thank you again!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 4:29pm

I definitely agree with Tish. If you are feeling uncomfortable with anything, don't do it! I'm glad that you have broken things off with him and hope you find a more considerate man.


Wendy

Wendy

sexy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 4:36pm

Lanollee


You were given great advice already and I just wanted to say, I totally applaude you dumping the guy! You deserve to be treated with respect at all times and no one should ever make you do soemthingyou ar enot comfortable with.


You go girl!




click here to
Design Your Own Se
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 4:45pm
I came out of lurkdome to reply to your post and I'm glad to see that you've already ended this relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:36pm
i'm new here but i wanted to say that i am so sorry that it was brought to you that way. it is something that really needs to be approached tenderly and only if both are consentual. it took me a long time to cross that bridge, which i finally did with my husband. now, i don't want it as frequently as he does, but he respects that. i always say, don't knock it till you try it, but that was definitely not the way be introduced. i'm glad he's gone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 1:43pm
You already got some great advice from each person on here and I cant think of anything to add just wanted to Welcome you to the board!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 8:58pm

Welcome to the board, lanolllee (and mom_joslin).

Glad to hear you broke it off.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 9:01pm
Welcome to the board, lucky-chucky, and thanks for joining in.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 9:05pm

Welcome to the board, pinkshadows, and thanks for joining in!

I agree that this was a bad way to be introduced to anal sex.