? for the men... Which is more important

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
? for the men... Which is more important
27
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 5:06pm

for sexual pleasure...that your woman be confident in her body image or that she actually have a hot body? please explain which ever your answer is.


I really really want to know the truth.


*edited* to clarify what I mean. Really, would you rather have


a woman that was overweight, had stretch marks from having your children, and things just aren't as tight as they once were...but she is confident and loves making love to you and is somewhat adventurous.


OR


a woman that is an ideal weight for her body, her skin is smooth and supple, her breast are tender yet firm,... but she often complains about her body and is selfconcious and is not very comfortable trying new things in the bed because she is afraid of how she will look.





Edited 2/12/2008 6:03 pm ET by maggiewilliams123

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 5:19pm

Maggie


Both would be ideal but I candy only goes so far.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 10:02pm

I will take "a woman that was overweight, had stretch marks from having your children, and things just aren't as tight as they once were...but she is confident and loves making love to you and is somewhat adventurous."



Happy together for 20+ years....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 11:42pm

That would depend entirely on WHAT man you're talking about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 12:06am

<>


yeah, that's why I was asking a group of different men. Because I figured they'd answer differently. I just wanted to know what they each individually thought, not what they thought all men wanted, just themselves. does that make sense?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 7:00am

I'm not a guy, but judging from my hubby's reaction, I would be willing to bet my life that this would be his answer ...

"a woman that was overweight, had stretch marks from having your children, and things just aren't as tight as they once were...but she is confident and loves making love to you and is somewhat adventurous."

Only he would also add ...

"and scars from 5 abdominal surgeries will be just fine too!"

Yes, Barbie has left the stage, LOL.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 7:34am
I think all types of women are sexy. I would have a hard time expecting my lady to have the model body as I myself don't. I take care of myself and I'm in pretty good shape for 48, but have my life battle scars to. The person is what makes a lady sexy and I have seen some awful sexy lady's that would be considered obese even, and I have seen some model types that have a hot body but the personality makes her NOT hot. I love all the bumps, bulges and stretch marks as they are all life scars and part of her. Then the junk in the trunk always gets me hot, lol.

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Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 8:23am

Morning, Bronco, haven't seen you around in a while.

"I love all the bumps, bulges and stretch marks as they are all life scars and part of her."

My hubby calls them battle scars, much like you called your own. It's nice to see others share the same attitude.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:00am

thank all for your responses. When we were first married it was hard for me because I had never been intimate before. I was always covering places on my body or wanting to keep the lights off, or only using positions that he couldn't see all of me etc etc.


And I would sometimes, say things like, "don't touch me there" and pull away when he touched areas I was self conscious about. Or cover places with my hand and say, "don't look." Or when we weren't being intimate I'd complain about my body. etc etc


No matter how hot the person was that was doing those things - What an annoying partner that would be!! what a turn off, right?


Dh told me so. And I remember one time I totally let go. I let myself me fully exposed and enjoyed every minute of it. I didn't even realize i was doing so. Afterwards DH told me how great it was that I was so confident and comfortable. It was then that I realized how I really was putting a damper on things.


I still feel self confident - a lot less than I was, but it's still there - but I really try to do all I can to be comfortable with him and be adventurous and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:04am

Of course any person wants to say they are above the shallow reactions.


The way I use to describe my wife is that she looks like a super model, as cool and any of my guy friends, and does it like a porn star.


After I would use that description I would ask myself. Am I being shallow with the "super model" comment. I am very much into photography. and she is my super model. I have tens of thousands of pics of her to prove that statement. she truly is very hot and it has been reiterated to me on many occasions(but that is another thread I think LOL)


When she first became pregnant she questioned me whether I would change my opinion once she put on the pounds and maybe things would move around on her afterwards. I actually began to question myself as well. How would I feel if maybe she isn't that perfect model shape and size afterwards. Again I convinced myself it won't make any difference. But I think I am a little biased when it comes to me. I am the greatest guy that I know after all hahaha.


A strange thing did happen though. I experienced both sides of this question. My wife was my perfect mate. She was my dream woman physically and she was also the best sex partner anyone could ask for. Now though she isn't that "stereotypical" super model. After the baby a few pounds stayed on. But another change, that happened,





iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 11:35am

AWWW!

 

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