does your SO know you visit here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
does your SO know you visit here?
30
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 7:43pm

After reading a post I wondered how many here post & participate in discussions about sex & relationships and their SO does or doesn't

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 7:50pm
I started looking at these boards when I was trying to figure out why I wasn't horny much anymore and I wasn't enjoying sex much either. We have since figured out that is was my BC that I was on, I changed last month and things are much better. He was a little surprised when he first learned what I was spending so much time looking at and I'll admit, I was a little embarrassed. Now he makes jokes about my "addiction" to keeping up with this and the oral sex board. We're both comfortable and ok with it, sometimes he even looks over my shoulder at what I'm posting, just cause he's curious.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 8:08pm

Yes, Dh has always known.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 8:52pm
Dh



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 10:02pm

My DH & I both visit the boards & post. It's helped us open up more to each other about our likes, dislikes, fantasies & things we'd like to try....


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 10:06pm

My hubby does know that I spend a good deal of time here, and he knows that I CL 2 of the boards. Like Tish, I sometimes discuss board issues with him or ask for his advice from a male perspective. He's very aware that I discuss our sex life here, and he's fine with that.

I don't remember how I first introduced him to the boards, but I do remember that I found the boards when I was trying to figure out why my own libido was over the top. The anonimity on the boards is great, and if someone does try to contact you off of the board, you can ignore their e-mails and continue to protect yourself. His only concern in my involvement here was that of safety. Since it is on the web, and the boards are public forums, his only concern was that I didn't compromise my safety.

iVillage is a "women's destination" (I believe the largest on the web), and while men do participate, the intention is to deal with issues that women face. It's a division of NBC Universal, advertised on TV, and offers topics on everything from A-Z. It's a wonderful, safe environment to network and ask questions about topics that you might not be able to ask elsewhere. Your particular interest is in sex. If iVillage wasn't here, where would you be looking for your answers? Would you be doing internet searches (and possibly stumbling upon unsafe environments), reading books, or seeking answers elsewhere? I think it's natural to want to learn about changes that you are going through, and I think it's wonderful to have a place to do that. I suppose I'm saying that if your intentions are good, then he shouldn't have a problem with you wanting to satisfy that curiosity.

I'm sure that he would prefer you discuss these issues in this environment vs. with your friends on a Saturday afternoon, especially since you mentioned that he is shy. If you fear that it would shock him to find where you are interacting, then perhaps you want to mention that you found a great website called iVillage. I don't discuss what I do here with anyone but hubby IRL, but I often tell people to visit iVillage, and how cool it is that they cover every topic here. You might want to read the link about iVillage below:

http://www.ivillage.com/about/0,,799xklpf,00.html

He may actually like that you're taking the initiative to learn more and trying to better your relationship is such a safe environment. Not only are the message boards here, but there are also some great articles, live video feeds, etc.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 10:48pm

I am so glad i have gotten responses and I am a little surprised to see how many do share that they visit with their SO.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 3:55pm

DW knows that I post here. She has absolutely no interest in the boards. She's really not the type that's interested in it and finds many of the problems that women are having with men very frustrating - she's quite assertive and finds many of the non-assertive women with problems to be dreadfully frustrating. She can't really see why I'm interested in it. LOL! Once in a blue moon I'll ask her for her take on a situation but I usually post when she's not around anyway and I have some time to kill anyway.

Initially she was a little worried that it was some sort of sexual chat board and I was forming online sexual relationships and getting my jollies from it but she soon figured out what it was all about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 4:51pm

No, DH does not know i visit here.


my reasons to keep it from him 1) He may be hurt by the things I say about him and our intimacy, he may take i as i am complaining about him or that i am not satisfied or that he is inadequate - none of which are true. But i just am able to write very bluntly on here seeing as how we are all strangers and DH doesn't see it - no harm.


2) He may feel that reading these things are wrong. i avoid the descriptive posts because of this. We both feel that doing anything sexually without each other is wrong (internet porn, videos, romance novels, etc). I'm afraid that he may feel that this board falls under that category while I do not feel that way. OT -

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 4:56pm

Hi -


My DH does not know that I read and post on the boards. By nature, I am somewhat shy and conservative. While the things that I post are all true, I could never tell them to anyone that I know. I really enjoy being anonymous on these boards.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 5:02pm

Maggie, I certainly hope you don't go anywhere! We have really enjoyed your participation on the boards.

Perhaps you could talk to your DH and ask how he would feel about you participating as a way to learn new things for the two of you to share. He may be more open to it than you think.



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