whats up with his stuff?
Find a Conversation
whats up with his stuff?
| Mon, 02-25-2008 - 9:00am |
I've been seeing this guy. Who before me didn't have any sexual experience. We're both in our late 20s.
We've been dating long distance and the first few times we tried things just didn't work out so well. He would cum too soon or not stay hard and not cum at all. Then we spent like a month together and things sexually were great. It worked.
This weekend was the first time we'd seen each other in over a month. And he couldn't stay hard enough to actually do anything. And as soon as be put the condom on and got close to trying he came.
What is up with his stuff? Can i do something to help?

Welcome to the board, Jessa.
Probably the best thing you could do to help is to not let on to him that you are discouraged in any way. There are a lot of ways that he should be able to satisfy you sexually without the use of his penis. If either of you concentrate on dysfunction there, it will cause more harm than good. Since he's having both of these problems, I would also encourage him to see his doctor or a urologist too.
If a guy is anxious about his performance, he's likely to have problems. His inability to maintain an erection (ED or Erectile Dysfunction) could be due to medical reasons too. He can talk with a doctor about that to rule out any possibilities. ED can also be caused by psychological problems. Stress, anxiety, fear ... all of those types of things can play into it. Also, if he's masturbating a lot when the two of you aren't together, then it may be that he's having trouble responding in the bedroom. To help with that, he can back off from masturbating for a week or so prior to seeing you.
If he frequently has difficulty with Premature Ejaculation, then it could be contributing to the anxiety .... which is contributing to the ED. If he's having PE because he's overly excited ... have you tried letting him rest for 10 minutes or so and then try for another erection? He should be less sensitive the second go round and better able to hold off on ejaculating.
As far as not ejaculating .... that happens sometimes. Just like women don't have orgasms every time they have sex, sometimes guys don't always ejaculate. Focusing on enjoying what you are experiencing can still lead to a satisfying sexual experience -- even without the orgasm or ejaculation.
Here are a couple of articles you might also find helpful:
Sex: Coping with Husband's Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxcommunicate/0,,6gtv,00.html
"My guy suffers from premature ejaculation" (Please, Squeeze, At Ease)
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/sexexpert/qas/0,,696792_705900,00.html
Written by Ian Kerner who has overcome this himself.
iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men
http://health.ivillage.com/di/dinews/0,,wbnews_b6skrsst,00.html
Visit me on these boards
Let's Talk Toys
Let's Talk About Sex
~ visit my partners in the siggy exchange ~
Dealing with In-Laws ~ Renewing Your Vows
How pure are you?